Who's really clever?

[Churchill]

I like it Churchill. Now, what were you saying about Ferret?

Nothing at all, he's a sound chap, salt of the earth type. Wouldn't be without the bloke. If there were more people like him etc.....

Churchill - In "grovelling little bastard" mode!

[Diver]

Nothing at all, he's a sound chap, salt of the earth type. Wouldn't be without the bloke. If there were more people like him etc.....

Churchill - In "grovelling little bastard" mode!

We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them etc. etc

[TimberWolf]

Churchill, what are these?

(@)(@)

[Jog On]

Churchill, what are these?

(@)(@)

That really is clever

[Churchill]

Churchill, what are these?

(@)(@)

The closest that AtW is ever going to get to a pair of tits?

[NotAllThere]

Can you do some waxing eloquently on philosophy here please? Philosophy is usually such a disappointment, but I’m keen to be convinced that it’s not just vacuous bullcarp.

Hey, I never said I was clever.

[Sockpuppet]

That women and multi tasking thing is rubbish. Notice how it is put around by women. I can multi task but I choose to unitask so that I can do one thing correctly instead of a half @rsed job on two fronts.

My wife seems to think she has a more logical thought process than me. My argument is that I work in IT and have a degree in maths. Most of what I do is driven by logic. The problem is that her logic fails to grasp it. That is, her basic logic deems my superior logic to be illogical. Which is why I win. Logical really!

Women also seem to think they inherit the right to claim this even when it isn't true in their case.

Was talking to a friend about pain and she started to go on about how women can withstand the pain of childbirth.

Wait. Have you had a child yet? Er..no. So what the feck do you know about it...when you've popped a sprog and not by c-section then come back

[Gonzo]

Me too - chicks can multi-task...that's pretty clever.

Women have to multi-task because they can't do any one thing very quickly.

I have posted this before at some point but wtf.

I was waiting to use the self-service checkout in the supermarket. I was waiting behind a woman who was trying to put her items through the checkout while having a conversation on her mobile phone.

Becuase she was on the phone she wasn't able to concentrate on putting the items through the checkout so it took far longer than it should have done.

Because she was trying to use the checkout she couldn't concentrate on her phone call and had to keep adjusting how she was holding the phone so the whole conversation took far longer than it should have done.

Multi-tasking my arse.

Rant over, feel better now.

[Troll]

Women have to multi-task because they can't do any one thing very quickly.

I have posted this before at some point but wtf.

I was waiting to use the self-service checkout in the supermarket. I was waiting behind a woman who was trying to put her items through the checkout while having a conversation on her mobile phone.

Becuase she was on the phone she wasn't able to concentrate on putting the items through the checkout so it took far longer than it should have done.

Because she was trying to use the checkout she couldn't concentrate on her phone call and had to keep adjusting how she was holding the phone so the whole conversation took far longer than it should have done.

Multi-tasking my arse.

Rant over, feel better now.

I bet she hadn't taken her purse out/ got the cards ready for when all her items were scanned either

[TimberWolf]

Sorry for the long joke but I think it's topical and worth it.


Drive Through Cash Point


MALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Wind down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Wind up window
7. Drive off


FEMALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
3. Restart the stalled engine
4. Wind down the window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
6. Turn the radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car
9. Insert card
10. Reinsert card the right way up
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
12. Enter PIN.
13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Check make up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside
18. Place receipt in back of check book
19. Recheck make-up again
20. Drive forwards 2 meters
21. Reverse back to cash machine
22. Retrieve card
23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26. Release handbrake


http://www.office-humour.co.uk/jokes/1747/