Am I a bar steward? Serious question here...

[daviejones]

If he is not your real dad, do you want to find your real dad? I did this and I believe my story is in an earlier thread and it is tough and exciting but you need to want to do it...

[wendigo100]

Not the same I know, but when I was about 30 I found out that on my mum's father was Swedish and her mum Irish.

That was a bit of a surprise to someone who previously considered himself English through and through.

Trouble is, she ran off when I was young so I never get to ask her about it.

[BoredBloke]

Is it cos you is black (and he isn't)

I think I'd have to know also - I think you should ask him outright. Get the pain over quickly - like pulling a plaster off. Good luck!

[wendigo100]

Is it cos you is black (and he isn't)

Mr Cole always wondered whether one of his footballing sons was someone else's - Andy, Ashley, Carlton and Joe.

[DodgyAgent]

The problem is we all have a sense of belonging, where we came from etc.

If it was me I would haveto know

You are quite right troll

There was a piece on GMTV this morning () about adoption. The social services insist that adopted children know their own backgrounds.

Did any of you watch the drama last night on BBC with Michael Gambon? similar theme.

[Churchill]

Is it cos you is black (and he isn't)

I think I'd have to know also - I think you should ask him outright. Get the pain over quickly - like pulling a plaster off. Good luck!

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

<Tommy Cooper>

[Bagpuss]

Serious question folks. In one of my not exactly sober moments, it occurred to me that my father isn't really my father. There were rather too many jokes when I was a kid about the milkman and maybe they picked up the wrong baby from hospital.

But if I am a proper bastard in the legal sense, it would explain why I had so much pain from my father over the years, and why he mistreated my mother.

Given that my dear old Mum died more than 15 years ago, I can't ask her, but I do remember being told not to bother visiting her in hospital for her last few hours in this world, and have often wondered why. Was she going to spill the beans to me?

Please answer gently folks. Remember that we are talking about my Mum.

In a 50s fertility study in the USA involving 1000s of parents, by chance they found out around a fifth of children are not the offspring of their marital father. All similar studies since have come up with almost exactly the same percentage.

[Sysman]

Do you ever feel the urge to get up at three in the morning and drive electrically-powered vehicles?

Not three in the morning, and gimme a Land Rover rather than a leccy job, and yes, I have. The parents did threaten to buy me a hand pushed milk cart one year when I got a bad school report.

[Sysman]

In a 50s fertility study in the USA involving 1000s of parents, by chance they found out around a fifth of children are not the offspring of their marital father. All similar studies since have come up with almost exactly the same percentage.

I remember hearing about a similar study in the UK, and was definitely surprised by the numbers. I had put it down to the war etc, but "similar studies since" mean that's probably a red herring.

Thanks for the advice folks, I'd half expected the normal level of abuse, so ta for not giving it.

We shall see how it goes. Life is too short, must get it over and done with, so I can move forward.

[Diver]

To dwell in the past leads to a vacant future

Your life is today and all of your tomorrows

Do not let the past lay a burden on you that will be difficult to carry into your future

Lighten the load and move swiftly toward a happier tomorrow.