Weapon

[Clippy]

I keep a Ninja on standby in the house poised to strike at a moments notice.

Similar to Kato from the Pink Panther movies.

[WindyAnna]

Worked with someone who lived in the north west, he wired his metal window frames up to the mains in csae someone tried to break in.

WA

[Diver]

I'd have thought you would have a good collection of diving knives.

The best one I have found is a rounders bat. Smaller than a baseball bat which in a house you couldn't swing anyway.

Maybe a spear gun. Your also a diver so could say it was "just lying around".

Don't need a weapon, got a wife

[Clippy]

Don't need a weapon, got a wife

Sorry to break it to you, the 'lady' you keep folded under your bed don't count.

[fordcaprighia]

A Tennis rackt is great for twatting people with, particularly if its an older heavier one. Used to run a pub that was always being broken in to, a charged soda syphon is quite useful.

[daviejones]

I find that strategically placed anti-personell mines come in handy!!!

[Swiss Tony]

petrified wood spear

[oracleslave]

I find the 'hook' used to retrieve a loft ladder particularly useful. Only difficulty is retrieving it once embedded in flesh.

[Jog On]

I have a pair of nunchakas by the bed.

[ChimpMaster]

Seriously, I have a cricket bat under my bed. I also have a back scratcher that I bought from Portugal for 3 euros.

Wielding these 2 weapons of choice will indeed make me a formidable foe.