Fools on trains that insist on taking up two seats

[wendigo100]

I like to take up a block of four, by putting my feet up on the two opposite.

[woo]

I'd use the ken bates method.
If window seat is empty and chump sits in aisle seat then apply electric shock. just needs metals strips along the seat (1. to detect if anybody is sitting there. 2. to apply the current when needed).

[dang65]

Only vaguely related, but I was on a train the other day and some bloke did the usual loud business conversation on his phone. Lasted about 2 minutes I suppose. Very irritating, but at least he got off at the next stop. Trouble is, the moment he'd gone another chap, who had been sitting opposite him, went, "Thank God he's gone! Can you believe it, making a phone call on a train so everyone can hear. That's terrible. I hate it when people do that. They should be shot. Height of rudeness. It's an absolute disgrace..." and he went on and on about it for the next ten minutes. Duh.

[threaded]

Only vaguely related, but I was on a train the other day and some bloke did the usual loud business conversation on his phone. Lasted about 2 minutes I suppose. Very irritating, but at least he got off at the next stop. Trouble is, the moment he'd gone another chap, who had been sitting opposite him, went, "Thank God he's gone! Can you believe it, making a phone call on a train so everyone can hear. That's terrible. I hate it when people do that. They should be shot. Height of rudeness. It's an absolute disgrace..." and he went on and on about it for the next ten minutes. Duh.

Oh, that's a public troll. It's quite an art: to do enough to annoy, but not get punched.

[Pinto]

I make a point of zeroing in on these @rses and asking in a loud voice with a bright, confident manner 'is someone else, sitting in this seat?'.

I'm always sure of a seat - I like to think that they're saving it just for me - protecting it from the losers who are too polite to say boo to a goose.

(nb. this technique works just as well in 1st class - tossers do this kind of thing everywhere...)

I do exactly the same. Why do people choose to stand instead of simply telling the greedy person (on my line, it's usually women!) to move the sodding bag, or whatever, I'll never know.

[shaunbhoy]

I can understand anyone preferring to take an aisle seat - it's a little more roomy and you don't need to worry about asking someone to move if you need the toilet or wish to go to the shop....

However, people like the guy sitting opposite me at the moment really annoy me. The train from London Euston to Wolverhampton is pretty busy - it always is at this time of day. People have been struggling for seats, and he's taking up half of the table with his laptop, Blackberry, phone, sandwich, crisps and water. He's then hung his jacket on the hook by the window seat. He's then got his bag on the window seat whilst he sits on the aisle seat.

People have wandered past, looking to see on the electronic reservations whether the seat is available. When he's avoided eye contact, they've gone looking elsewhere.

It's fair enough to take two seats if there's plenty of availability - but on a peak time service, either use one seat, buy two tickets or don't be such a ****ing cheapskate and pay for 1st class!

Just ask him in as loud a voice as possible which seat he has paid for as you want to sit in the other one. If he tries to ignore you then prod him with your finger until he does take notice. What is wrong with you people? If you don't want to be treated like an insignificant submissive sheep, stop acting like one!

[Numptycorner]

I find letting out noxious farts ensures I have the immediate area to myself

[wendigo100]

Why do people choose to stand instead of simply telling the greedy person (on my line, it's usually women!) to move the sodding bag, or whatever, I'll never know.

I prefer to stand than sit next to some people.

[Pinto]

I prefer to stand than sit next to some people.

Yes, so do I, but that's irrespective of whether they're using both seats or not.

[lilelvis2000]

Only vaguely related, but I was on a train the other day and some bloke did the usual loud business conversation on his phone. Lasted about 2 minutes I suppose. Very irritating, but at least he got off at the next stop. Trouble is, the moment he'd gone another chap, who had been sitting opposite him, went, "Thank God he's gone! Can you believe it, making a phone call on a train so everyone can hear. That's terrible. I hate it when people do that. They should be shot. Height of rudeness. It's an absolute disgrace..." and he went on and on about it for the next ten minutes. Duh.

then there's the occaisonal chav with the mobile playing some MP3 as loud as it possible can. You ask them to turn it off - which they ignore or tell you to F-off. So you end up grabbing it and turning it off and throwing it back at them.