Do men have a right to "hit" on women?

[FrontEnder]

Oh my god. This with bells on. I'm 27 and wouldn't ever remotely consider dating anyone younger; most of them are just so entrenched in Social Media that it's impossible to even get their attention and that's before you even get to the moral topic of "Ummm, if I'm your significant other should you be posting pictures of you in your lacy underware on the 'Gram?"

I'm pretty fortunate that neither my current lady friend or I particularly bother with Social Media and it definitely makes our relationship noticeably better for it. The previous potential Mrs. Matt FX was Polish and outstandingly attractive but addicted to random male attention on Facebook; the irony of it was she actually wasn't all that much of a fan of actual physical attention from me..! Go figure that one out.

Not sure what needs to be figured out.

[mattfx]

Not sure what needs to be figured out.

Yeah, that's what I thought. I then stopped paying attention, she got mad. There was literally no winning with that one. Fortunately that's a long way behind me now!

[BrilloPad]

Yeah, that's what I thought. I then stopped paying attention, she got mad. There was literally no winning with any woman. Fortunately that's a long way behind me now!

FTFY

[Gibbon]

[QUOTE=Jog On;2519175]an abundance and probability mindset.

QUOTE]

That's how it was for me in the eighties and then again in the late nineties after divorce. 1 am in a nightclub and you just did the rounds until you clicked or ran out of options. There was always a kebab for consolation. Funny enough it was a lot easier in the late nineties, had quite a year after my divorce. My best was in a club dancing away and ended up starting to dance with this girl who actually smiled at me, anyway I thought I'd try it on and said to her " shall we skip the dance and drink and just head back to your place".

[Jog On]

Oh my god. This with bells on. I'm 27 and wouldn't ever remotely consider dating anyone younger; most of them are just so entrenched in Social Media that it's impossible to even get their attention and that's before you even get to the moral topic of "Ummm, if I'm your significant other should you be posting pictures of you in your lacy underware on the 'Gram?"

I'm pretty fortunate that neither my current lady friend or I particularly bother with Social Media and it definitely makes our relationship noticeably better for it. The previous potential Mrs. Matt FX was Polish and outstandingly attractive but addicted to random male attention on Facebook; the irony of it was she actually wasn't all that much of a fan of actual physical attention from me..! Go figure that one out.

Wouldn't be surprised if it's diagnosed as a syndrome of some sort, just like pr0n is for younger guys that have grown up with high speed internet. Go to Your brain on pr0n or nofap (both NSFW) and it's all scientifically broken down quite nicely, I think social validation addiction is very similar in terms of dopamine etc. High speed connected technology is a wonderful thing but it is having quite a damaging effect on younger generations born into it.

How does this extreme level of attention/validation wight up with the kind of behavior that #metoo is criticizing so heavily? Especially from the pr0n conditioned male members of society? Also how accountable is the advertising industry for the problems we see now in the way a lot of creepy men behave toward women?

[mattfx]

Wouldn't be surprised if it's diagnosed as a syndrome of some sort, just like pr0n is for younger guys that have grown up with high speed internet. Go to Your brain on pr0n or nofap (both NSFW) and it's all scientifically broken down quite nicely, I think social validation addiction is very similar in terms of dopamine etc. High speed connected technology is a wonderful thing but it is having quite a damaging effect on younger generations born into it.

How does this extreme level of attention/validation wight up with the kind of behavior that #metoo is criticizing so heavily? Especially from the pr0n conditioned male members of society? Also how accountable is the advertising industry for the problems we see now in the way a lot of creepy men behave toward women?

It's difficult; the other issue you have is girls on platforms like Tinder stereo typically post pictures of themselves in bikinis or other skimpy clothing, then wonder why they have blokes sending picture of their nether regions to them after they've said an initial hello, provided they matched. Obviously a pr0n conditioned male is going to naturally think "oh! I Know what comes after she starts taking her clothes off!" *cockshot* ... *wink*

You've groups of females on Tinder looking for relationships because they want free internet dating, groups on their looking to cheat on their other halves and groups on there just looking for a fondle every so often on a lonely Friday night. However, all of these women from different categories all post similar pictures to be "competitive" despite wanting different things, then complain when they receive undesired sexually suggestive attention.

How as a bloke searching for a woman, even if you aren't pr0n conditioned... supposed to just instinctively know what the protocol is?

[Jog On]

It's difficult; the other issue you have is girls on platforms like Tinder stereo typically post pictures of themselves in bikinis or other skimpy clothing, then wonder why they have blokes sending picture of their nether regions to them after they've said an initial hello, provided they matched. Obviously a pr0n conditioned male is going to naturally think "oh! I Know what comes after she starts taking her clothes off!" *cockshot* ... *wink*

You've groups of females on Tinder looking for relationships because they want free internet dating, groups on their looking to cheat on their other halves and groups on there just looking for a fondle every so often on a lonely Friday night. However, all of these women from different categories all post similar pictures to be "competitive" despite wanting different things, then complain when they receive undesired sexually suggestive attention.

How as a bloke searching for a woman, even if you aren't pr0n conditioned... supposed to just instinctively know what the protocol is?

There was a book published in the 90's called "The Rules" which was written to tell men how to go about this - but it was before the Internet was a big thing and any social media. Also it's written from a female perspective. In response to that another book came out called "the Game" which became the go-to book written from a male perspective which was basically pick-up artistry.

That morphed into the red pill which has all the PUA stuff but on top of a lot of self-improvement and development of 'alpha' traits whilst completely rejecting any feminist/liberal/left/PC emasculation or attack on masculinity. It's very controversial and full of immature american high school/college boys talking about 'being alpha' and bragging about conquests in 'field reports'. But there is some useful stuff there.

I've been reading the 'married red pill' stuff to make marriage great again (after 20 years) and it's working a treat. Glad I'm not on the dating scene - it sounds like a nightmare...

[mattfx]

There was a book published in the 90's called "The Rules" which was written to tell men how to go about this - but it was before the Internet was a big thing and any social media. Also it's written from a female perspective. In response to that another book came out called "the Game" which became the go-to book written from a male perspective which was basically pick-up artistry.

That morphed into the red pill which has all the PUA stuff but on top of a lot of self-improvement and development of 'alpha' traits whilst completely rejecting any feminist/liberal/left/PC emasculation or attack on masculinity. It's very controversial and full of immature american high school/college boys talking about 'being alpha' and bragging about conquests in 'field reports'. But there is some useful stuff there.

I've been reading the 'married red pill' stuff to make marriage great again (after 20 years) and it's working a treat. Glad I'm not on the dating scene - it sounds like a nightmare...

Had heard of The Rules and The Game. I once read a book about dating written by a woman; her approach was for you to have a "stable" of dates to take out during your time dating, but the moment you slept with one of them that was it; you shut the door on the rest of your stable once you've picked your horse! The emphasis was very much about getting into the mindset of a woman and trying to think "why does a woman need me" - the answer being that if the woman does "need" you - there's something wrong and you should stay well away. They have to want to spend time with you and it's figuring out what makes them tick (could be a number of things) that will make them want to spend time and form a relationship with you.

However, I read this before the Social Media explosion, about 10 years ago when I was just coming out of college after being home schooled; still didn't really know how to approach / talk to girls/women very well. I think the mantra is still kind of the same, you have to know what they want in order to be a meaningful part of their lives... The issue comes when what they want is attention from multiple men via the internet in the form of suggestive comments and such. How are you supposed to form a trusting, deep relationship with someone who craves the attention of others?

[Willapp]

It's difficult; the other issue you have is girls on platforms like Tinder stereo typically post pictures of themselves in bikinis or other skimpy clothing, then wonder why they have blokes sending picture of their nether regions to them after they've said an initial hello, provided they matched. Obviously a pr0n conditioned male is going to naturally think "oh! I Know what comes after she starts taking her clothes off!" *cockshot* ... *wink*

You've groups of females on Tinder looking for relationships because they want free internet dating, groups on their looking to cheat on their other halves and groups on there just looking for a fondle every so often on a lonely Friday night. However, all of these women from different categories all post similar pictures to be "competitive" despite wanting different things, then complain when they receive undesired sexually suggestive attention.

How as a bloke searching for a woman, even if you aren't pr0n conditioned... supposed to just instinctively know what the protocol is?

It's funny (but not) how true this all is. I separated from my stbx about 18 months ago, so am now well versed in the highs and lows of online dating. It always made me laugh on Tinder seeing profiles with tons of suggestive photos and then underneath it says things like "no players", "looking for long term" etc. It's like they don't understand how simple us men are - if you see plenty of skin up front, you are going to assume they're up for anything! You then get the other extreme where all you can see is close-up face pics, when any guy with half a brain is going to assume the worst: if you can't see the body, you probably don't want to!

[BrilloPad]

It's funny (but not) how true this all is. I separated from my stbx about 18 months ago, so am now well versed in the highs and lows of online dating. It always made me laugh on Tinder seeing profiles with tons of suggestive photos and then underneath it says things like "no players", "looking for long term" etc. It's like they don't understand how simple us men are - if you see plenty of skin up front, you are going to assume they're up for anything!

I don't think any man should assume anything from a woman from how she dresses.

This is not the 1950s.....