Malcolm Tucker
Russell Brand, you like big words so here's one for you pal '****offyouannoyingc**t'. Remember when you used to be funny? Nah, me neither. There was that one time you told an elderly national treasure that you'd ****ed his granddaughter, that was a bit funny I suppose, but still, it was a bit of a ***** trick wasn't it Russell? And I thought John Cleese was a twat for slapping the wee bastard about a bit.
You know what wasn't so funny Russell? That time you thought you were Che Guevara because you took your shirt off, stopped washing and recorded hours of yourself talking absolute tulipe. Was that like some weird sober trip that lasted months you scruffy gimp faced condom abuser. Was it something to do with the drug withdrawal? Did you wake up the day after the election to that lipless ham faced pig fancier smiling and waving at you from the tele and think 'oh ****'? You did that didn't you Russell? You told a load of thick impressionable little tulips to burn their polling cards didn't you, you matted haired vacant eyed giant toothed ****. You caused indefinite Tory rule, Brexit and ultimately Trump, it's all you're ******* fault you dictionary swallowing Jagger wobbling spunk slinger. You're the ******* epicentre of this atomic cluster ****, you lit the touch paper, you're the ******* instigator, the catalyst, the nucleus aren't you, you Cockney sex crazed meditating yoga-er. You philandering tulipe espousing wide gazed mind corrupter. You whole food eating tantra preaching high sexed ****. It's all your ******* fault Russell, there's some ******* Trews for ya.
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You know what wasn't so funny Russell? That time you thought you were Che Guevara because you took your shirt off, stopped washing and recorded hours of yourself talking absolute tulipe. Was that like some weird sober trip that lasted months you scruffy gimp faced condom abuser. Was it something to do with the drug withdrawal? Did you wake up the day after the election to that lipless ham faced pig fancier smiling and waving at you from the tele and think 'oh ****'? You did that didn't you Russell? You told a load of thick impressionable little tulips to burn their polling cards didn't you, you matted haired vacant eyed giant toothed ****. You caused indefinite Tory rule, Brexit and ultimately Trump, it's all you're ******* fault you dictionary swallowing Jagger wobbling spunk slinger. You're the ******* epicentre of this atomic cluster ****, you lit the touch paper, you're the ******* instigator, the catalyst, the nucleus aren't you, you Cockney sex crazed meditating yoga-er. You philandering tulipe espousing wide gazed mind corrupter. You whole food eating tantra preaching high sexed ****. It's all your ******* fault Russell, there's some ******* Trews for ya.
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