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piss through a stiffy:
v. To attempt the impossible.
‘'I say, Jeeves old chap,' I ejaculated, ‘It really is dashed annoying. I mean, what's a bally chap supposed to do? I've been trying to catch the Hon. Celia Hunt-Fosbury's eye all week, but she always seems to have that dumpy chum of hers from Roedean in tow.' ‘I take it, sir,' replied the sage retainer, ‘that you are referring to the cigar-smoking young lady in tweeds...?' ‘That's the one,' I cried. ‘You've got her bang on the pip. What shall I do, Jeeves?' ‘I incline to the view, sir,' the inestimable manservant continued, ‘that, in the circumstances, you should withdraw gracefully. I fear you may be trying to piss through a stiffy there." (from **** Me Sideways, Jeeves! by PG Wodehouse).
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