Contractor of the day

[DimPrawn]

Two nuns are sitting on a bench.
A guy in a trench coat comes up and flashes them.
One of the nuns has a stroke.
The other couldn't quite reach.

Yes, you are known for your propensity to strokes....

[mudskipper]

In some rare cases, where a person has very high blood pressure, they can experience symptoms, including:

• a persistent headache
• blurred or double vision
• nosebleeds
• shortness of breath

Ah! So that's why my nose keeps bleeding. I just assumed I was picking it too much.

Sort your shizzle out. Lay off the booze, eat healthily, take some exercise.

[MarillionFan]

call that high? they started getting worried when I hit 200/120.

good luck the drugs do work.

Well the warning sign was when I was in the US in May, when after a couple of drinks I felt it go to my head, got in a taxi and when I got out face planted in the concrete. I remember thinking as I lay on the floor 'That's new'. The next day I fell down the stairs at the office.

When I got home I started exercising and hitting the bike, but then last week I fell in the pub & bounced off the wall. What was annoying was I was on the way to the bar to order a drink as I'd only just arrived.

Anyway I'll find out on Monday if it's just blood pressure.

[TestMangler]

Sort your shizzle out. Lay off the booze, eat healthily, take some exercise.

Nah, don't listen to her.

Drink more beer, if you don't smoke, start, maybe do a few lines of coke. Pointless going to your grave with healthy lungs and liver if your heart is f*cked.

[minestrone]

Blood pressure was 133/110, says I may have to go on medication, whatever that means.

32,120

[EternalOptimist]

My dad had this a few weeks before he died.
the last symptom was a big streak of wee down the front of his kecks

byeee

[AtW]

It's three strokes and you out...

[administrator]

Starting a thread to insult another CUKKER (even a muthercukker like MF)....hmmmmm....

Nah, he started a thread to congratulate MF on being such a fine contractor. I thought he was a dyed-in-the-wool permie?

MF, honestly mate, sort it out. Alternatively please make sure we are invited to your wake so we can eat some pork pies and raise a stout in your memory. Your Mrs has my number.

[administrator]

The initial rumours about Michael Jackson being dead were untrue. He was found later on in the children's ward having a stroke.

[MicrosoftBob]

In some rare cases, where a person has very high blood pressure, they can experience symptoms, including:

• a persistent headache
• blurred or double vision
• nosebleeds
• shortness of breath

Ah! So that's why my nose keeps bleeding. I just assumed I was picking it too much.

Add bloodshot eyes to the list, my missus looks like a vampire on the turn from The Strain at the moment due to high blood pressure