Is France better than Britain?

[BrilloPad]

Alex Proud: France is better than Britain, but we're scared to admit it - Telegraph

[Doggy Styles]

It's warmer. And less crowded.

[DodgyAgent]

Alex Proud: France is better than Britain, but we're scared to admit it - Telegraph

Cannot really argue about that. I would not however set up a business there.

[Gumbo Robot]

If there is somewhere serving decent food, it’ll be full of people from London congratulating themselves on being there.

That's my neck of the woods all over. And we're supposed to be grateful for their transforming what they like to rather chauvanistically call "an unreconstructed pub" into something that wouldn't be out of place in Hoxton.

[VectraMan]

Where my Dad lives everything just seems deserted. When I was there last I spent ages driving around looking for somewhere to buy a sandwich, but kept finding small town after small town where everything was shut and there was nobody to be seen. I went to a largish town for a walk around, and despite being afternoon on a weekday I pretty much had the streets to myself. Very odd.

[Batcher]

Where my Dad lives everything just seems deserted. When I was there last I spent ages driving around looking for somewhere to buy a sandwich, but kept finding small town after small town where everything was shut and there was nobody to be seen. I went to a largish town for a walk around, and despite being afternoon on a weekday I pretty much had the streets to myself. Very odd.

You made the mistake of visiting on Bastille Day.

[DimPrawn]

Cannot really argue about that. I would not however set up a business there.

No one sets up a business in France. You don't farm something and claim EU subsidies. Simples.

NIGEL JOHNSON-HILL, PARK FARM, LIPHOOK GU30 7JF

Rt Hon David Milliband MP
Secretary of State,
Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (DEFRA),
London SW1P 3JR

1st July 2007

Dear Secretary of State Milliband

My friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque for £3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs. I would like to join the 'not rearing pigs' business.

In your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on, and which is the best breed of pig not to rear? I want to be sure I approach this endeavour in keeping with all government policies, as dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy. I would prefer not to rear bacon pigs, but if this is not the type you want not rearing, I will gladly not rear porkers. Are there any advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots, or are too many people already not rearing these?

As I see it, the hardest part of this programme will be keeping an accurate record of how many pigs I haven't reared. Are there Government or Local Authority courses on this?

My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs for forty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in 1968. That is - until this year, when he received a cheque for not rearing any.

If I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs, will I get £6,000 for not rearing 100?

I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 pigs not raised, which will mean about £240,000 for the first year. As I become more expert in not rearing pigs, I plan to be more ambitious, perhaps increasing to, say, 40,000 pigs not reared in my second year, for which I should expect about £2.4 Million from your department. Incidentally, I wonder if I would be eligible to receive tradable carbon credits for all of these pigs not producing harmful and polluting methane gas?

Another point: These pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 tonnes of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops. Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the pigs I don't rear?

I am also considering the 'not milking cows' business, so please send any information you have on that too. Please could you also include the current Defra advice on set aside fields? Can this be done on an e-commerce basis with virtual fields (of which I seem to have several thousand hectares)?

In view of the above you will realise that I will be totally unemployed, and will therefore qualify for unemployment benefits.

I shall of course be voting for your party at the next general election.

Yours faithfully

Nigel Johnson-Hill

[FatLazyContractor]

Good wine, good food, sexy women and as MF says incestuous.

What's not to like?

[barrydidit]

Good wine, good food, sexy women and as MF says incestuous.

What's not to like?

It's full of Frenchies, that's what.

[GlenW]

It's full of Frenchies, that's what.

As opposed to British chavs?