Does anyone know someone that can get a boat to Normandy?
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Urgent help needed
Collapse
X
-
-
Isn't that the same as solitaire? I'm blackbelt at that game! Blackbelt I tell ya!Originally posted by MarillionFan View PostTeach your self something. How about patience?Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.Comment
-
Anyone got any pot noodle recipes for pulled pork?Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.Comment
-
Originally posted by suityou01 View PostOK I want to sack all the DBAs and get root privs on every box. Shall I start a rumour about the DBAs gangbanging ClientCo's CEO's missus?
Does anybody see just the teensy weeny-est risk in Suity's preferred solution?Originally posted by suityou01 View PostI am on T&M. I would have thought the CEO of the consultancy would have had a bit more to say about it. Breach of contract springs to mind. But hey ho.
Trust me, I am anal about documentation. It's up to date. I am 98% of the way through a data migration, and just need the environment sorted so I can finish the 2% off. The only way this can be done is for
a) The DBAs to look into it with a bit more enthusiasm.
b) ClientCo's manager to vigorously encourage the DBA's to look into it.
c) The constancy's CEO to vigorously encourage ClientCo's manager to vigorously encourage the DBA's to look into it.
d) All of the above tos.fook off and leave me the admin passwords
Of course we have taken option e) which is do fook all. So I now have 25 hours to fill.
Jeeezus H!!! I wouldn't trust Suity to use a fork to eat lunch!!!!!Comment
-
We don't want to know about you pulling your pork!Originally posted by suityou01 View PostAnyone got any pot noodle recipes for pulled pork?I'm not even an atheist so much as I am an antitheist; I not only maintain that all religions are versions of the same untruth, but I hold that the influence of churches, and the effect of religious belief, is positively harmful. [Christopher Hitchens]Comment
-
That's a bit unprofessional, even for foreign.Originally posted by suityou01 View PostJust whipped it out and they've lost their minds.Originally posted by MaryPoppinsI'd still not breastfeed a naziOriginally posted by vetranUrine is quite nourishingComment
-
The only things you urgently need help with are the ability to deal with stuff yourself (stopping being a pointless lying twat would be a start) and more importantly how to flounce properly and stay gone for good.Comment
-
Harsh.Originally posted by TykeMerc View PostThe only things you urgently need help with are the ability to deal with stuff yourself (stopping being a pointless lying twat would be a start) and more importantly how to flounce properly and stay gone for good.
But fair.What happens in General, stays in General.You know what they say about assumptions!Comment
-
Said the permie.Originally posted by MarillionFan View PostHarsh.
But fair.
On a contractor forum.Knock first as I might be balancing my chakras.Comment
-
Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- JSL rules ‘are HMRC’s way to make contractor umbrella company clients give a sh*t where their money goes’ Today 07:42
- Contractors warned over HMRC charging £3.5 billion too much Feb 6 03:18
- Statutory Sick Pay (SSP) for umbrella company contractors: an April 2026 explainer Feb 5 07:19
- IR35: IT contractors ‘most concerned about off-payroll working rules’ Feb 4 07:11
- Labour’s near-silence on its employment status shakeup is telling, and disappointing Feb 3 07:47
- Business expenses: What IT contractors can and cannot claim from HMRC Jan 30 08:44
- April’s umbrella PAYE risk: how contractors’ end-clients are prepping Jan 29 05:45
- How EV tax changes of 2025-2028 add up for contractor limited company directors Jan 28 08:11
- Under the terms he was shackled by, Ray McCann’s Loan Charge Review probably is a fair resolution Jan 27 08:41
- Contractors, a £25million crackdown on rogue company directors is coming Jan 26 05:02

Comment