Could you go without sex for a month?

[BrilloPad]

What would a MONTH without sex do to your marriage? | Daily Mail Online

Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle aged couple and a young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor says, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couples agreed and came back at the end of two weeks.

The pastor goes to the elderly couple and asks, "Were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The old man replies, "No problem at all, Pastor."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church!" said the pastor.
The pastor goes to the middle aged couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for the two weeks?"
The man replied, "The first week was not too bad. The second week I had to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights but, yes we made it."
"Congratulations! Welcome to the church," said the pastor.
The pastor then goes to the newlywed couple and asks, "Well, were you able to abstain from sex for two weeks?"
"Well Pastor, we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied.
"What Happened?" inquired the pastor.
"My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"You understand of course, this means you will not be welcome in our church." stated the pastor.
"That's OK," said the young man, "we're not welcome at Tesco anymore either."

[Project Monkey]

Does that include a quick one off the wrist?

[psychocandy]

Does that include a quick one off the wrist?

showstopper

[pjclarke]

Bloke comes home and tells his girlfriend he's lost his job at the supermarket.

'Oh no - what happened?' she cries.
'Well, it is a bit embarassing really, I got caught with my c*ck in the bacon slicer' he replies shamefacedly.
'Oh my God, are you Ok?'
'Yes I'm fine'
'And the slicer?'
'Uh huh - they gave her the sack too.'

[MicrosoftBob]

The last time I had to go a month without sex I was married

[Platypus]

The last time I had to go a month without sex I was married

Quite. Same for many I suspect.

[alluvial]

The last time I had to go a month without sex I was married

What is this sex thing you speak of?

[BrilloPad]

What is this sex thing you speak of?

My wife tells me it something she does with the tennis coach.

A man goes to the doctor and says his wife is unhappy. The doctor asks about their sex life. The man has not heard of sex.

So the doctor tells the man to bring his wife in for the next appointment. The doctor has sex with the wife then says "and she will need that 3 times a week.

The man says "I will bring her in Monday, Wednesday and Friday then"...

[TestMangler]

What kind of foodstuff can turn a fox into an elephant ??


Wedding cake.

[MaryPoppins]

Yes, I could.

I know this for a solid fact.