How do you talk on your mobile?

[FatLazyContractor]

These people were all middle aged rather than it being a youth thing

How did mudskipper miss this?

[Pondlife]

How did mudskipper miss this?

Must have been on autopilot

[tractor]

...

How did mudskipper miss this?

Hangover obviously!

[tractor]

...

Too hard to choose.

Also those middle aged men who still have their mobiles attached to their belts in a little holder thingy

I used to laugh at the bankers with a shoulder holster. The phone would ring and they would whip it out like a .45 Magnum

[Pondlife]

I used to laugh at the bankers with a shoulder holster. The phone would ring and they would whip it out like a .45 Magnum

You just KNOW that there's a pony tail on the back of his noggin

[Ramrod]

I've just remembered something obnoxiously passive aggressive that I did a couple of months back (I'm not so proud now).

On a crowded train on the way home after a hard day's warchest strengthening, some jumped up little snot sat next to me fires up his iphone 6+ on speaker to talk to one of his chums at great volume about how he's "Smashed it today and some poor prick is gonna feel the full force of my awe at 5-a-side tonight etc etc" he went on to talk about his (unfortunate) girlfriend, what he had for lunch, how his fantasy football team are doing and no end of other inane drivel.

Meanwhile, I had been trying to read my book, which up until he started I had been rather enjoying. So, matching him (if not beating him) for volume I started reading my book aloud as if enunciating to a packed theatre.

I got one or two wry smiles from fellow passengers who 'got it' and after around a paragraph managed to get a silenced look of "WTF?" from our mate with the phone.

At the time I felt like a god - looking back I was pretty smug and lucky to not attract a punch at least.

[SantaClaus]

It's to stop the radiation giving them a brain tumour.

^^this

ditto

[original PM]

I've just remembered something obnoxiously passive aggressive that I did a couple of months back (I'm not so proud now).

On a crowded train on the way home after a hard day's warchest strengthening, some jumped up little snot sat next to me fires up his iphone 6+ on speaker to talk to one of his chums at great volume about how he's "Smashed it today and some poor prick is gonna feel the full force of my awe at 5-a-side tonight etc etc" he went on to talk about his (unfortunate) girlfriend, what he had for lunch, how his fantasy football team are doing and no end of other inane drivel.

Meanwhile, I had been trying to read my book, which up until he started I had been rather enjoying. So, matching him (if not beating him) for volume I started reading my book aloud as if enunciating to a packed theatre.

I got one or two wry smiles from fellow passengers who 'got it' and after around a paragraph managed to get a silenced look of "WTF?" from our mate with the phone.

At the time I felt like a god - looking back I was pretty smug and lucky to not attract a punch at least.

At least that would have given you an excuse to stick his iphone 6 up his ar$e