Returning to perm is almost impossible

[expat]

But why would you do that? I'd rather earn as much as I could, that way if it all goes t ..ts up you've got something saved to fall back on. Getting a 20 grand a year job and just getting by means that should the unthinkable happen youve got nothing saved to fall back on.

Make hay while the sun shines!

The point was that my OH is desperately anxious about the insecurity of contracting. She loses sleep over the possibility of being unable to pay the mortgage and being out on the street.

After last year, I don't think she's wrong to worry. I just don't see any real option with more security.

[SueEllen]

The point was that my OH is desperately anxious about the insecurity of contracting. She loses sleep over the possibility of being unable to pay the mortgage and being out on the street.

After last year, I don't think she's wrong to worry. I just don't see any real option with more security.

There is nothing stopping her getting a higher paying job herself.

Two of my sister-in-laws where a bit like your missus until they went on maternity leave for the first time and had to budget properly. They learnt if they wanted to live the lifestyle they wanted with more than the essentials then the household income needed to go up and the only sure way of doing it, was to do it themselves.

Also they started talking to people and listening to them, about redundancy being common in the private sector.

They now earn more than my brothers, one now has a high up management position in a public sector organisation, but both can survive on one income if push comes to shove. My brothers including the one who is a contractor are less stressed as a result.

[Clippy]

But why would you do that? I'd rather earn as much as I could, that way if it all goes t ..ts up you've got something saved to fall back on. Getting a 20 grand a year job and just getting by means that should the unthinkable happen youve got nothing saved to fall back on.

Make hay while the sun shines!

Less stress.

A friend who doesn't work in IT was struggling to find work so got a job as a retail sales assistant.

Met up with him a few weeks ago and he was really happy and enjoying what he was doing.

He knew it was a stop-gap and was just enjoying it - he mentioned to me that he had no worries to take home with him when clocking off at 5.30.

The fact his OH is pulling in a good salary obviously helps.

[expat]

Less stress.

A friend who doesn't work in IT was struggling to find work so got a job as a retail sales assistant.

Met up with him a few weeks ago and he was really happy and enjoying what he was doing.

He knew it was a stop-gap and was just enjoying it - he mentioned to me that he had no worries to take home with him when clocking off at 5.30.

The fact his OH is pulling in a good salary obviously helps.

Yeah, I should think it would. Otherwise how would he pay the mortgage? It's all very well doing an "American Beauty", but where do you live?

[AngelOfTheNorth]

The fact his OH is pulling in a good salary obviously helps.

That my friend is the key .......... but lets assume for a moment the OH doesnt pull in a good salary .... then can you see the point im making?

[facboy]

wish my missus earned a big salary...i have enjoyed being a kept man for the last 4 months (well actually just slowly emptying the warchest).

having said that, it's good to keep a proper perspective on things, i think in london it's quite easy to get a warped view of the world because of all the bankers driving around in bentleys. like to remind my missus when she's feeling hard done by that she's well above the national median, so, you know, get a grip .

[AngelOfTheNorth]

like to remind my missus when she's feeling hard done by that she's well above the national median, so, you know, get a grip .

trust me, you dont know how much i know where youre coming from ....... and why is it women seem to have a harder time dealing with the reality of these situations than men? (at the risk of setting people off)

[SueEllen]

trust me, you dont know how much i know where youre coming from ....... and why is it women seem to have a harder time dealing with the reality of these situations than men? (at the risk of setting people off)

Lots of factors including the fact lots of women haven't been brought up or socialised with the expectation that they would have to contribute significantly to the family income once they are married.

They expect their husbands to provide everything and compare themselves to the richest people they know or see.

What I find funny is that I have some extremely rich friends and family where the wife doesn't have to work at all but they go out of their way too. While I know this and the other things that they do, other women don't so slag them off because they seem to have everything with no effort on their part.

[lukemg]

First of all - a note of caution, these sorts of tensions can build up into a serious relationship problem, especially with you being away all week, alternatives can sometimes come under consideration... That not being the case, are you living below your means ? I have 2 years of warchest stashed due to having expenses some way below a good contract rate, that is more security than virtually any permie I know. I can maintain current standard of living without earning for 2 years, I hit hard times in 2003 when all I knew became practically worthless, I don't fly without a safety net anymore. This means I don't take jobs I don't want or go to locations I don't like. If you don't have a warchest to see you through 12 months, I suggest you make this your first priority. In addition - buy cars when you have the money built up, no loans, credit card debts or any other borrowing except a mortgage. The number of people who have 20 different monthly payments and who are 2months away from total financial meltdown is scary. If the missus wants you home every night, that is a different chat, if it comes down to money - sort it !

[gingerjedi]

First of all - a note of caution, these sorts of tensions can build up into a serious relationship problem, especially with you being away all week, alternatives can sometimes come under consideration... That not being the case, are you living below your means ? I have 2 years of warchest stashed due to having expenses some way below a good contract rate, that is more security than virtually any permie I know. I can maintain current standard of living without earning for 2 years, I hit hard times in 2003 when all I knew became practically worthless, I don't fly without a safety net anymore. This means I don't take jobs I don't want or go to locations I don't like. If you don't have a warchest to see you through 12 months, I suggest you make this your first priority. In addition - buy cars when you have the money built up, no loans, credit card debts or any other borrowing except a mortgage. The number of people who have 20 different monthly payments and who are 2months away from total financial meltdown is scary. If the missus wants you home every night, that is a different chat, if it comes down to money - sort it !

Wise words, unfortunately I realised this 2 years ago and ever since the market has been so bad I've only managed to go backward.

My 2009 is your 2003... I wouldn't let it happen again.