Fairy Tales For Unborn Children
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Hansel and Gretel

Hansel and Gretel were walking through the Forest one day, when they
realised they were hungry. "I'm hungry," said Hansel to Gretel. "I'm
hungry too." said Gretel to Hansel. "Let's try to find some food."
And as they wandered on in search of food, they came across a small
house deep in the centre of the forest. As they got closer, they saw
that the house was made entirely out of food! The walls were ginger-
bread, the windows were barley sugar, and the door was asolid sheet of
licorice. "Yum yum," said Hansel to Gretel. "Yum yum," said Gretel to
Hansel.
But as they drew near, Hansel noticed a small notice pinned to one
side of the house. "Oh no, Gretel," he exclaimed, "we'll have to
leave." Gretel turned to her brother. "Why's that, Hansel?" she asked.
"E numbers," replied the older and wiser child.

The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe

"I'm sorry, you can't live there," said the housing inspector as he
slapped an eviction order on the condemned property, forcing the
unemployed chicken stuffer and her 13 illegitimate children out onto
the street.

Old King Cole

Old King Cole was a merry old soul, and a merry old soul was he. He
called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl, and he called for his
Sony Walkman. From beyond the castle walls could be heard the faint
protestations of three unemployed fiddlers, who had been picketing
the palace since their enforced redundancy.

The Grasshopper and the Ant

All through the long, hot summer, the Ant toiled away building up his
stores for the winter ahead: he worked busily and fervently, for he
knew that his labours would be rewarded in the cold season to come.
The Grasshopper, on the other hand, idled away his time lying on his
back rubbing his legs together and drinking Diet Coke. "Look at you,
Ant," he'd say, "working yourself into a frenzy when you could be
basking in the sunshine." The Ant said nothing, for he knew that his
work would not be in vain.
Summer changed into Autumn, and Autumn into Winter: the nights drew
in, and a bitter cold spread through the land. And what of our two
heroes? The Ant was number 272 on a National Health waiting list for
a hernia operation, while the Grasshopper made 40 quid a week on an
MSC scheme.