Why would a Labour wine be bad for you?

[HairyArsedBloke]

A full blooded red which should warn of the dangers it contains. A curious aroma that triggers defective parts of the brain that causes it to be obsessively craved by the naive and demented. Such individuals will show early signs of addiction that is extremely difficult to break. Even small doses can cause serious problems that can take years to repair. However, it is a cumulative poison and even medium term exposure can be fatal.

[wobbegong]

A predictable tipple with murky, deceptive undertones. A wine guaranteed to give you a headache and a pain in the @rse simultaneously. Curiously, however, one that you don't actually have to buy. Simply stay at home on May 6th and a four year supply will be delivered straight to your door!

[norrahe]

A cheap imitation of what could be but costs you more in the long run.
Not a good vintage, nose leaves a good inital impression but gives away its true aroma after a while.
Leaves a bitter taste in the mouth at this current time, the late 97 vintage may have run its course around 2007, unfortunately there hasn't been a good harvest since.

This is a wine for laying down and avoiding, it might be useful in hand to hand combat.

[The Wikir Man]

I think it would be fruity with a hint of impending apocalypse.

Discuss.