The Snots.

[RichardCranium]

If you have a honey
and her chuff is runny
dont think it's yummy
'cause it's not.

Instructions for use:
..... 1. Print it out and put it in your wallet.
..... 2. When alone with a lady, remove it and read it.

It's cheap.
It's clean.
It's hygienic.
It's green.

The EO Reusable Contraceptive™
For when you just know you'll regret it in the morning.

[EternalOptimist]

What useful purpose does snot have?

You can wipe a bit on the keyboard of someone you don't like.

Snot does have a few uses.
It come in useful during hand to hand combat, usually outside pubs, where you can beat the snot out of your opponent.
It comes in useful for sex as well. The female mucous membrane, in the f@nny area, produces chuff snot, which is a useful lubricant commonly known as f@nny-batter.

This led me to write a poem for CUK which I will reproduce here

If you have a honey
and her chuff is runny
dont think it's yummy
'cause it's not

[Mich the Tester]

Anyone else got the snots?

How many do you want?

How much are you prepared to pay?

[RichardCranium]

Other symptoms:

- waking up with a soggy pillow from dribbling all night thanks to the blocked nose.

- a stiff neck from coughing.

- farting when coughing and then having to check for escapologists.

- thankfully I don't wet myself when I cough (yet) but plenty do.

- a banging headache from coughing.

- earache from sneezing.

- cracked, peeling, sore and bloody nose, cheeks and lips.

- the evil smelling tulips that come as a consequence of swallowing what you have coughed up.

- not being able to taste anything.

- not having the patience or temper to do anything at all cerebral.

[RichardCranium]

What useful purpose does snot have?

I used to believe it was the body flushing out the germs, along with coughing and sneezing.


But some doctor on the radio said the common cold was virtually a parasite: it triggers the human immune response system exquisitely: to get the immune system to propagate the virus by leaving it lying around, by dripping it into water courses, by passing it by hand contact, by passing it by aerosol.

He said it has evolved perfectly: it does not kill nor stay the same long enough for a human to develop an immunity.

But, said doctor also said that was why it is a good idea to buy cold suppressants to inhibit the symptoms. He went on about that for so long that it was clear he was in the pay of the drugs companies to promote their products.


When the medical profession are saying what they are paid to say, what are you supposed to believe?

[I'mFree]

What useful purpose does snot have?

You can wipe a bit on the keyboard of someone you don't like.

[RichardCranium]

I've been blowing luminous green snot for a week. And coughing until my ribs ache.

The worst bit is waking up and having to wash my mouth out of the brown lining that has formed, then the coughing up of pale brown jelly.

Rubbish, innit?

[I'mFree]

Anyone else got the snots?

Got cough, cold, headache. Apart from that I'm not so bad really.