Moats & Duck Islands

[HairyArsedBloke]

I'm trying to think of interesting ways to spend my corp tax. If I'm going to the wall I may as well spend that before the company goes bang

I must try and pass it off as expenses as well. Good enough for the people 'running' the country, then good enough for me

I'm fresh out of ducks and I don't have a moat either but some of the most interesting ideas I have heard so far ...

1) Top of the range XBOX for 'researching' games
2) Company Jag (although that might get carted off by the liquidator)
3) A month in the Maldives for the AGM?

any others?

You’ve just reminded me of a telephone call I got on Sunday night from a friend of mine that is over with the family from the West Indies. He was a bit drunk and had been sent indoors by the wife after nearly having a physical fight with his father-in-law.

I’ve met the father-in-law and he is an old-school Labour man. He was banging on about ‘filthy rich Tory bastards, with their moats,....”. My friend gets fed up with all this and says, “What is wrong with having a moat around your house? I’ve got one and it cost me a fortune to put in and clean each year. I’m not surprised they put it down on expenses“. Apparently, at this point the father in law went ballistic and fists were offered. The women broke it up and sent both of them to separate naughty steps.

My friends moat? It’s true, his house is surrounded by a water; sometimes. In the tropics it rains very heavily and his garden, and potentially his house, is prone to flooding. So what he did was get a local chap with a JCB put in a ditch all round his house plot. They put the spoils on the garden and made it run off into the ditch so that the water can drain or evaporate. It sort of works, but I don’t think it was worth it.

[xchaotic]

1) Top of the range XBOX for 'researching' games

Get a beefy Gaming Laptop ASUS W90Vp should do just fine and you can actually use it for Excel too...

[zara_backdog]

Coke and whores? Make sure you get receipts though. I do know of a civil cervant who claims visits to a dominatrix off his expenses, not quite sure what he puts it down as though.

Tut tut "Secretarial Services" thought everyone knew that one!

[Drewster]

Coke and whores? Make sure you get receipts though. I do know of a civil cervant who claims visits to a dominatrix off his expenses, not quite sure what he puts it down as though.

Nah! You well never drink enough Pepsi to make it worthwhile!........

Ooooops - You din't mean Pepsi did you?

[voodooflux]

Coke and whores? Make sure you get receipts though. I do know of a civil cervant who claims visits to a dominatrix off his expenses, not quite sure what he puts it down as though.

"Visiting a party whip"

[SlimRick]

Coke and whores? Make sure you get receipts though. I do know of a civil cervant who claims visits to a dominatrix off his expenses, not quite sure what he puts it down as though.

[Jubber]

I'm trying to think of interesting ways to spend my corp tax. If I'm going to the wall I may as well spend that before the company goes bang

I must try and pass it off as expenses as well. Good enough for the people 'running' the country, then good enough for me

I'm fresh out of ducks and I don't have a moat either but some of the most interesting ideas I have heard so far ...

1) Top of the range XBOX for 'researching' games
2) Company Jag (although that might get carted off by the liquidator)
3) A month in the Maldives for the AGM?

any others?