How heavy were you as a baby

I recall when my twin sons were born and the missus was still in hospital the mother in law phoned and asked how much they weighed.

I did not want to admit I had never bothered to ask because it would have been obvious I did not give a f*. I only knew they were both astonishingly ugly and already showing signs of being exceedingly expensive so I said about 12lb each. I was probably confusing them with newly hatched Nile crocodiles.

I should have said about £20k a year each for ever.

Weigh yourself today and tomorrow, then using linear extrapolation, calculate your birth weight.

I personally don't know, because the records are lost and my mother had only just learnt the language and couldn't understand what they told her. My own baby boys, however, were 8 pounds 10 ounzes and nine pounds one ounze. Long gone are the days when I could hold a pen 'down there' and write a message. What can I do?