Alabama
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. (I didn't think women needed blindfolds)
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church. (AtW! You have been warned!)
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death. (Yeah, especially if the train is coming!)
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile. (Would a lighthouse suffice ?)
You must have windshield wipers on your car. (It's the only thing that gets cleaned regularly in Alabama then)
Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex. (But women are allowed to swallow :-) )
Alaska
Moose may not be viewed from an airplane. (They carry shoulder-launched SAM's, obviously)
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane. (Well, it is pretty offensive to the moose I guess..though RSD's are allowed)
It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose. (These folks are seriously moose-obsessed)
Arizona
Hunting camels is prohibited.(Makes a change from moose, I guess)
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. (...speechless)
When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses. (just a moment, can I borrow your axe, please ?)
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.(Guess that rules out AtW, Milan and HHH sharing together then)
It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.(The Gurls are real purdy in Arizona)
Arkansas
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. (What about those who er..enjoy that sort of thing ?)
Oral sex is considered to be sodomy. (So Bill is actually a bum-bandit ?)
California
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. (I'd like to see them enforce this one)
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. (Explains a lot of drive-by lard-@rse shootings)
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour. (Doh)
Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants. (Oh Xog, I'm so sorry)
Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. (Apart from AtW, who is encouraged at every opportunity with lead stabilisers)
It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent. (Honey ? I'm going to beat you to death with a belt. Sorry darling, but it must be regulation size)
It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.(huh ?)
Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine (and a lifetime of ridicule at your incredibly small penis)
It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.(Especially if his name is Bill and you are in the White House)
One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock. (Fine..then my lunch break is now 2 hours, whilst I doze in the drive-thru)
Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street. (At last ! There is a God !)
It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner. (It attracts too many bums ?)
Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited. (but seldom obeyed)
Colorado
Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday. (Stops the God Squad going to church presumably)
It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence. (Of what ? Drink ? Drugs ? The Horse itself ?)
Connecticut
In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce. (Remind me never to eat pickles in Connecticut)
It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades. (Yeah...I rent my old ones out to poor people)
You may not educate dogs.(How to do what ? Bark ? 5hit ? Kill next door's cat ?...Awwwww)
Delaware
It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink. (No-Fly zones over puddles ?)
Florida
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. (What about an elephant that rolled up driving a vehicle, and then tied itself to the meter. Does it have to pay twice ?)
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.(not to mention suicidal ?)
When having sex, only the missionary position is legal. (Grab a cauldron, prepare a fire, then put the missionary..oh hang on...I think I misread this one)
