A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you
at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee,o fficer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps
your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear,
you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and
growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn
it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
seat belt, sir. That's an automatic £75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you seeo fficer, I had it on, but took it off
when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back
pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your
seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns
to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always
talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
I love this part....
" Only when he's been drinking.":rollin :rollin :rollin
:rollin
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Reply to: Blabber mouth
Collapse
You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:
- You are not logged in. If you are already registered, fill in the form below to log in, or follow the "Sign Up" link to register a new account.
- You may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
- If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.
Logging in...
Previously on "Blabber mouth"
Collapse
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Burnham's housing vision vs. Starmer's home-buying reforms: what it means for your contractor mortgage Jul 22 00:59
- In Khalil v Innovate Transport, a limited company contractor wasn’t a worker and was on £2.30 — not £230 Jul 21 07:58
- Andy Burnham is PM: 5 new IT policies set to shape UK tech and its contractors Jul 20 06:29
- Taxed on money I haven't earned yet? Bold move, HMRC Jul 17 08:36
- The Fair Work Agency has got zero hours in its sights. Do you? Jul 16 08:44
- Cookie Policy Jul 15 11:50
- Cloned again: an umbrella company founder's warning on fraud, JSL and Companies House Jul 15 07:47
- How is JSL bedding in for contractor umbrella companies, 100 days in? Jul 14 07:45
- IT contractor demand cools in June 2026 amid UK heatwave Jul 13 08:18
- How could zero hours contract reform create unexpected problems for contractors? Jul 8 06:40
