The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").
Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.
Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim
include, but are not limited to:
Anti-social personality disorder traits;
Delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;
Chronic mangling of the English language;
Extreme cognitive dissonance;
Inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia;
Inability to accept responsibility for actions;
Exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
Uncontrolled facial smirking;
Ignorance of geography and history;
Tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies;
And a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington DC. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled;
This malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas
Bush.
