Ever since his late teens Jim had suffered from terrible headaches.
Finally, in desperation and after years of misery, he sought medical
advice.
Many tests later the doctor sat down with Jim to deliver his diagnosis.
The doctor said, "Jim, I have both good and bad news. The good news is I can
cure your headaches... the bad news is that it will require castration.
You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press up
against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The
only way medical science can relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Jim was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live
for.
He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no
choice.
"Cut 'em."
When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in
20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As
he walked down the street, Jim realized that he felt like a different person
- he could make a new beginning and live a new life. Seeing a men's
clothing store he thought, "That's what I need, a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The
elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Jim laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" Been in the business 60
years!"
Jim tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Jim admired himself in the
mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Jim thought for a
moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Jim and said, "Let's
see...34 sleeve and 16 and a half neck." Jim was surprised, "That's
right, how did you know?" Been in the business 60 years!" Jim tried on the
shirt, and it fit perfectly. As he adjusted the collar in the mirror, the
salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Jim was on a roll now and said,
"Sure." The salesman eyed his feet and said, "Let's see... 9-1/2 E."
Jim was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?", Salesman replied
"Been in the business 60 years!" Jim tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.
He walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about
some new underwear?" Jim thought for a second and said, "Sure." The
salesman stepped back, eyed Jim's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36."
Jim laughed, "Ah hah, I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years
old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. Size 34 underwear
would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you
one hell of a headache."
