Advice Needed - Contractor UK Bulletin Board

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Epiphone replied

10 July 2007, 10:31
Do her in the bum. It's not cheating if you don't fill her sausage glove.
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alreadypacked replied

10 July 2007, 08:49
Originally posted by Buffoon

Invite her back to give you advice on the stain and carry on were you left off.

This is his mates wife, maybe he should think twice about having you as a mate!
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Buffoon replied

10 July 2007, 08:33
Invite her back to give you advice on the stain and carry on were you left off.
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FiveTimes replied

10 July 2007, 08:13
Why not spill wine ALL over the whole carpet, thus changing the colour and hiding the original spillage ???
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Zippy replied

10 July 2007, 07:45
Carpet Power is pretty good.
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scon_ead replied

9 July 2007, 16:46
[QUOTE=Chugnut]HI I'M BARRY SCOTT! .... QUOTE]
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DS23 replied

9 July 2007, 16:00
uh oh. you know when you get that feeling.... i'm not on tpd am i?
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DS23 replied

9 July 2007, 15:59
is it a pretty stain? why not make it a feature?
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DS23 replied

9 July 2007, 15:58
or a new carpet.
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DS23 replied

9 July 2007, 15:57
btw if the stain won't come out... get a rug.
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DS23 replied

9 July 2007, 15:57
i'll never be able to see cillit bang without transposing it to clit bang now.
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Chugnut replied

9 July 2007, 15:41
Originally posted by BlasterBates

I need a bit of advice. Well basically one evening a wife of my mate came round to pick up a few DIY tools, which my mate wanted to use, anyway we got talking, and she hinted that she wasn't really happy in her marriage blah blah blah...and I have to say she started getting quite friendly, I got the impression she was about to kiss me when suddenly I clumsily dropped a glass of red wine on the carpet. Well its now quite a problem, because although I’ve tried all sorts of cleaning fluids but I can’t get the wine stain out of the carpet.

Anybody any ideas ?

HI I'M BARRY SCOTT! IF YOU NEED TO GET RID OF RED WINE ON THE CARPET, JUST APPLY CILLIT BANG LIBERALLY TO THE STAIN, LEAVE 30 MINUTES, AND WIPE OFF WITH A DAMP CLOTH. WHILST WAITING, I TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO EASE MYSELF INTO MY MATE'S WIFE WHILST SHE PLAYS WITH MY OTHER "TOOLS".

CILLIT BANG! BANG, AND THE DIRT IS GONE!

Last edited by Chugnut; 9 July 2007, 15:43.
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alreadypacked replied

9 July 2007, 15:36
Originally posted by Ardesco

Pile a load of salt on it when you first spill it. The sa;t will suck it up. Once it has dried in though...... Your fecked

Stain devil do some good stuff for fabric get it in the supermaket, not sure if it works on carpet.

The dropping the glass may not have been an accident.
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Bagpuss replied

9 July 2007, 15:32
That's why your mum was reluctant to clean your bedroom
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Ardesco replied

9 July 2007, 15:32
Pile a load of salt on it when you first spill it. The sa;t will suck it up. Once it has dried in though...... Your fecked
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