There are 10 types of people in the world...

[Diver]

Hippocratic Oath For Software Engineers

Never write a line of code that someone else can understand.

Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Use long counter intuitive names. Don't ever code "a=b", rather do something like:

AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm));

Type fast, think slow.

Never use direct references to anything ever. Bury everything in macros. Bury the macros in include files. Reference those include files indirectly from other include files. Use macros to reference those include files.

Never include a comment that will help someone else understand your code. If they understand it, they don't need you.

Never generate new sources. Always ifdef the old ones. Every binary in the world should be generated from the same sources.

Never archive all the sources necessary to build a binary. Always hide on your own disk. If they can build your binary, they don't need you.

Never code a function to return a value. All functions must return a pointer to a structure which contains a pointer to a value.

Never discuss things in concrete terms. Always speak in abstract. If they can understand you, they don't need you.

Never complete a project on time. If you do, they will think it was easy and anyone can do it and they don't need you.

When someone stops by your office to ask a question, talk forever but don't answer the question. If they get their questions answered they don't need you.

Load all sentences either written or spoken with alphabet soup. When someone asks you out to lunch, reply:

"I can't because I've almost got my RISC-based OSI/TCP/IP client connected by BIBUS VMS VAX using SMTP over TCP sending SNMP inquiry results to be encapsulated in UDP packets for transmission to a SUN 4/280 NFS 4.3 BSD with release.6 of RPC/XDR supporting our ONC effort working." Never clean your office. Absolutely never throw away an old listing.

Never say hello to someone in hallway. Absolutely never address someone by name. If you must address someone by name, mumble or use the wrong name. Always maintain the mystique of being spaced out from concentrating on complex logic.

Never wear a shirt that matches your pants. Wear a wrinkled shirt whenever possible. Your shirt must never be tucked in completely. Button the top button without wearing a tie. This will maximize your mystique.

[Moose423956]

the standard of competition isn't that high though, to be fair.....

(i'm an agent, so of course i didn't understand it)

Aaaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! AN AGENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[anally retentive]

I have to say I think it's the funniest computer joke in the world...ever.

the standard of competition isn't that high though, to be fair.....

(i'm an agent, so of course i didn't understand it)

[Moose423956]

Dunno. I thought that Y2KY Jelly was right up there.

Is that the whole joke?

[wobbegong]

I dont like thids LOL bolloxs

do people really physically laugh out loud and then type this fecking bulltulip?

they are prb sat there with there cupping there chin looking miserable.

Will this post be available in English in the foreseeable future?

[Buffoon]

I have to say I think it's the funniest computer joke in the world...ever.

Dunno. I thought that Y2KY Jelly was right up there.

[n5gooner]

I'm smiling at you right now

yea but we know what your doing....

[SallyAnne]

I dont like thids LOL bolloxs

do people really physically laugh out loud and then type this fecking bulltulip?

they are prb sat there with there cupping there chin looking miserable.

I'm smiling at you right now

[el duder]

I really did - I laughed out loud! (Although I'm way too cool to actually type LOL)

I dont like thids LOL bolloxs

do people really physically laugh out loud and then type this fecking bulltulip?

they are prb sat there with there cupping there chin looking miserable.

[Moose423956]

I have to say I think it's the funniest computer joke in the world...ever.

[SallyAnne]

did you really find it that funny ???

I really did - I laughed out loud! (Although I'm way too cool to actually type LOL)

[n5gooner]

did you really find it that funny ???

[SallyAnne]

...those who understand binary numbers, and those who don't.

[n5gooner]

lol or should that be 101

[Moose423956]

...those who understand binary numbers, and those who don't.