Reply to: Offside Rule Explained for women

[SimonMac]

An internal examination may provide some temporary relief, but nothing replaces a pretty pair of shoes.

What about an internal examination in a new pair of shoes? I think that would be both our fantasy's fulfilled lol!

[SimonMac]

Biting's allowed, right? I saw it on the telly.

Only if you kiss it better afterwards

[mudskipper]

Biting's allowed, right? I saw it on the telly.

[Mich the Tester]

Couldn't you stab her with your heels ?

Definite no-no, unless the victim's French and the ref's unsighted.

[amcdonald]

I just want the frigging shoes. No one gets in the way of shoes I want. Can I shove the woman in front of me out of the way?

Couldn't you stab her with your heels ?

[Mich the Tester]

I'd kick her if she kicked my beautiful purse.

Kicking members of your own team is generally counterproductive. Save it for when you play against the French.

[MaryPoppins]

Only if you already have the purse in your hand, but it must not have been passed forward to you by your friend, and if your friend has kicked it then you must have been behind the kicker when the purse was kicked.

I'd kick her if she kicked my beautiful purse.

[Mich the Tester]

I just want the frigging shoes. No one gets in the way of shoes I want. Can I shove the woman in front of me out of the way?

Only if you already have the purse in your hand, but it must not have been passed forward to you by your friend, and if your friend has kicked it then you must have been behind the kicker when the purse was kicked.

[MaryPoppins]

If MP could get a once over from a doctor she wouldn't need the new shoes!

An internal examination may provide some temporary relief, but nothing replaces a pretty pair of shoes.

[SimonMac]

OK as long as you aren't (caught) offside. However, the ref might ask the medics to check you before continuing play.

If MP could get a once over from a doctor she wouldn't need the new shoes!

[MaryPoppins]

OK as long as you aren't (caught) offside. However, the ref might ask the medics to check you before continuing play.

I just want the frigging shoes. No one gets in the way of shoes I want. Can I shove the woman in front of me out of the way?

[Mich the Tester]

Bloody hell. I feel a bit dizzy after reading all that.

OK as long as you aren't (caught) offside. However, the ref might ask the medics to check you before continuing play.

[SimonMac]

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes!

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and "whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes!

BUT, you must always remember that until the purse has "actually been thrown", it would be plain wrong for you to be in front of the other shopper and you would be OFFSIDE!

Although with new rules your other friend will be deemed as interfering with play and the purchase cancelled.

[SimonMac]

<Girly Rugby Union Snip>The purse will just be kicked for 3 points rather than an attempt to buy the shoes</Girly Rugby Union Snip>

FTFY

[MaryPoppins]

Bloody hell. I feel a bit dizzy after reading all that.