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Previously on "Children. Best thing in life"

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  • hyperD
    replied
    Originally posted by wobbegong
    Paul Francis Gadd . . . alledgedly!

    LOL!

    Leave a comment:


  • cameraman
    replied
    Originally posted by meridian
    What? Who are these weird people who are born with kids already, and so never know what it's like to have no kids?
    Ah, you sound like one of the ones who have regretted it but daren't admit it yet, so you pretend you've had it all!

    Leave a comment:


  • wobbegong
    replied
    Originally posted by zeitghost
    Kids.

    Who'd have 'em...
    Paul Francis Gadd . . . alledgedly!

    Leave a comment:


  • Davros
    replied
    Originally posted by zeitghost
    Your kids haven't exactly turned out well Davros... they keep on getting beaten to a pulp by that chappie in the Time Machine...

    No. Not Threaded. The other one.


    I worked my fingers to the bone and the only gratitude I got was a good exterminating in an underground bunker.

    Leave a comment:


  • MarillionFan
    replied
    One of them is a fat bulltulipting philanderer. The other a contractor who works in Denmark.

    Leave a comment:


  • Davros
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan
    Kids have to learn failure.
    A-hem, I'm sure you meant to say "delayed success".

    Wouldn't want the PC police to pay you a visit.

    Leave a comment:


  • MarillionFan
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn
    I worked with a guy that talked of nothing but his boring children in a social scene. All the "funny" things they say, the "brilliant thing" they did the other day, how fecking clever they are, etc.

    Exactly. My sister bought a picture my 5 year old nephew had drawn over a little while ago. It was sh-t. It looked like a 2 year old had done it but she was like 'how clever he was'. So I told her to get extra tutelage for him as he was obviously retarded.

    Kids have to learn failure.

    Leave a comment:


  • DimPrawn
    replied
    I worked with a guy that talked of nothing but his boring children in a social scene. All the "funny" things they say, the "brilliant thing" they did the other day, how fecking clever they are, etc.

    Leave a comment:


  • MarillionFan
    replied
    Originally posted by Phoenix
    Christ sake!
    you really are a beginner............It's a piece of piss to be a Father, but it takes hard work to be a Dad.
    People like you shouldn't be alowed to have Children, She might as well be a certificate to say that you actually got to shag someone once....
    I would put money on the fact that you probably won't be around for her on her 18th Birthday.
    Grow up!....... Then you might actually realise what you have
    Oh god.

    See what I mean! Another of those no-sense of humour dads who think its the be all and end all of their miserable existences.

    Leave a comment:


  • Davros
    replied
    Best "rhyming" couplet ever...

    He thinks that I'm a cabbage
    Cos I hate university challenge

    Leave a comment:


  • wendigo100
    replied
    What accent rhymes father with bother?

    Leave a comment:


  • PRC1964
    replied
    Being a father
    Is quite a bother.

    You are free as air
    With time to spare,

    You're a fiscal rocket
    With change in your pocket,

    And then one morn
    A child is born.

    Your life has been runcible,
    Irresponsible.

    Like an arrow or a javelin
    You've been constantly travelin'.

    But mostly, I daresay,
    Without a chaise percèe,

    To which by comparison
    Nothing's embarison.

    But all children matures,
    Maybe even yours.

    You improve them mentally
    And straighten them dentally,

    They grow tall as a lancer
    And ask questions you can't answer,

    And supply you with data
    About how everybody else wears lipstick sooner and stays up later,

    And if they are popular
    The phone they monopular.

    They scorn the dominion
    Of their parents opinion,

    They're no longer corralable
    Once they find you're fallible.

    But after you've raised them and educated and gowned them,
    They just take their little fingers and wrap you around them.

    Being a father
    Is quite a bother,
    But I like it, rather.

    Leave a comment:


  • wendigo100
    replied
    Originally posted by Gibbon
    Remember they're your blood, you can replace wifes and girlfriends but not family.
    Indeed. That's what I meant by only significant thing - it is the continuation of your DNA.

    Even Einstein wanted to leave kids.

    Leave a comment:


  • Gibbon
    replied
    MF, hang on in there. I'm not a baby fan and all the nappy changing, screaming etc is hard work. However once they get past the terrible two's it's great.

    Mine (Girl 17, Boy 13) mean that much to me that I just walked out on my second wife as she keeps trying to make me put them at arms length.

    Remember they're your blood, you can replace wifes and girlfriends but not family.

    Leave a comment:


  • Phoenix
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan
    And no, it doesnt really change your life. My missus snoring keeps me just awake as screaming kids. Nappy changing is a doddle, feeding is a doddle.

    We still go out. Shes been all over the country in her first 8 weeks, including abroad.

    So is it live changing?

    No. Its just another hanger on.

    Christ sake!
    you really are a beginner............It's a piece of piss to be a Father, but it takes hard work to be a Dad.
    People like you shouldn't be alowed to have Children, She might as well be a certificate to say that you actually got to shag someone once....
    I would put money on the fact that you probably won't be around for her on her 18th Birthday.
    Grow up!....... Then you might actually realise what you have

    Leave a comment:

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