Reply to: hedge fund bonuses

[BrilloPad]

EDIT: Most of them get a pretty average base and rely on the (mediocre 100%) bonus to fund being able to live.

FTFY

[aussielong]

Bonus day did not go down well the other day.

And not one single **** was given by me.

I remember a few years ago when I was at Morgan on bonus day, all the permies went down the pub at 11am once they had got their letters. About 3pm myself and the other contractor got an SMS from the boss "get your ass down the pub now". We went down, they had all got doughnuts. I've never seen so many smashed people in one place in the day time. They were absolutely plastered, to a man. I saw one bloke face plant, he was so p1ssed. There were people sitting on the floor too smashed to walk to the bar. These people live for their bonuses.

EDIT: Most of them get a pretty average base and rely on the (often 100%) bonus to fund lavish lifestyles.

[AtW]

Filling in your tax return gets your tax closer to 0 than ignoring it until they fine you to death. Are you suggesting that filling in your tax return is a method of artificially reducing tax?

What's tax return?

[doodab]

Yes, but I also want to stay honest person and to pay all tax due without getting into schemes designed to artificially reduce tax to near 0.

Filling in your tax return gets your tax closer to 0 than ignoring it until they fine you to death. Are you suggesting that filling in your tax return is a method of artificially reducing tax?

[minestrone]

Bonus day did not go down well the other day.

And not one single **** was given by me.

[AtW]

Unfortunately communists have no sense of humour - it was banned.

Not true - all jokes made by the superior party official are funny under the pain of death.

Now go pay yer taxes - it's end of the month already!

[SantaClaus]

FFS it was a joke. The practicalities of doing this make it incredibly difficult. They don't just buy "amalgamated rhubarb". What they do is alot more subtle than that.

Santa wants to pay the tax that an honest person pays. No-one has ever suggested he has done evasion. All he wants is a level playing field and to remove the HMRC time machine. And to get HMRC to tell the truth.

Don't you want truth and justice? I suppose not. Why not go back to Russia where injustice is a way of life - you would be far better suited to there.

You can take your sofa with you. And your radiator keys. Just leave the gladiator suit....

Ha ha, didn't know he was a Russian comi. Now it's all beginning to make sense.

Unfortunately communists have no sense of humour - it was banned.

[SantaClaus]

Now that's a joke!



Yes, but I also want to stay honest person and to pay all tax due without getting into schemes designed to artificially reduce tax to near 0.

ATW, you are a prize twat. No further explanation required, everybody knows it anyway.

[AtW]

Santa wants to pay the tax that an honest person pays.

Now that's a joke!

Don't you want truth and justice?

Yes, but I also want to stay honest person and to pay all tax due without getting into schemes designed to artificially reduce tax to near 0.

[BrilloPad]

Nice advice that can make somebody go to jail and spend the rest of their life begging for money because nobody would employ ex-con in any decent job.

Hardly suprising that you are among those whom HMRC is trying to make pay the tax that every honest person pays.

FFS it was a joke. The practicalities of doing this make it incredibly difficult. They don't just buy "amalgamated rhubarb". What they do is alot more subtle than that.

Santa wants to pay the tax that an honest person pays. No-one has ever suggested he has done evasion. All he wants is a level playing field and to remove the HMRC time machine. And to get HMRC to tell the truth.

Don't you want truth and justice? I suppose not. Why not go back to Russia where injustice is a way of life - you would be far better suited to there.

You can take your sofa with you. And your radiator keys. Just leave the gladiator suit....

[AtW]

Seek out the top performing traders mentioned above, open a spreadbet account and start copying their trades. Heck, it's probably against your contract, maybe even illegal, but it might be the best bonus you ever get.

Nice advice that can make somebody go to jail and spend the rest of their life begging for money because nobody would employ ex-con in any decent job.

Hardly suprising that you are among those whom HMRC is trying to make pay the tax that every honest person pays.

[SantaClaus]

Working with traders with the best Sharpe ratios around requires the best of the best.

Admittedly my bonus looks like a kings ransom compared to IB levels, but I am not happy.

Seek out the top performing traders mentioned above, open a spreadbet account and start copying their trades. Heck, it's probably against your contract, maybe even illegal, but it might be the best bonus you ever get.

[sbakoola]

Juniors, tea-boys and janitors don't get much bonus, even in hedgies.
HTH

or IT developers at Hedge Funds for that matter.

[BrilloPad]

So did you actually get a bonus then. I thought "doughnut" was a term meaning zero bonus.

You are right. By hedge fund standards it was a doughnut though.

[centurian]

Admittedly my bonus looks like a kings ransom compared to IB levels, but I am not happy.

So did you actually get a bonus then. I thought "doughnut" was a term meaning zero bonus.