Indoor Fireworks

[Malcolm Buggeridge]

You can get weedkiller (sodium chlorate), sugar and matches in the UK. Spread liberally on the kitchen table and ignite.

Best indoor fireworks ever. Really. And totally safe

Yes, us young rakes used to make homemade landmines from that stuff.

Take an empty boot polish tin, stick a piece of flintstone in it, pack it with sodium chlorate and replace the lid. Then carefully insert a heavy duty nail through the lid directly above the piece of flint.

Then hide it in long grass, preferably where someone you're not too keen on takes their daily walk, and wait for them to stand on your IED causing the nail to strike the flint, creating a spark, and bang!

[Cliphead]

You're not kiddin' about available fun From making little sticks of dynamite with drinking straws and jetex fuse right up to the 4lb copper pipe bomb that I used on a disused railway bridge in Bowling in 1975 (sorry you honour, i didn't know what I was doing, I'm only 15).

There's a plan B for you CH. Import uninhibited Sodium Chlorate. You have a buyer lined up already

I hated chemistry at school preferring physics but I made an exception when it came to explosives, musta been the Irish blood

Growing up there were no age restrictions on buying fireworks so those became the building blocks for bigger and better home made jobs.

One guy in the street used to nick his father's shotgun catridges and swap them for ciggies, how I exploited that

The new houses the council built had three foot high brick walls separating them with half brick gaps every four feet or so, just enough for a jam jar to be placed in the gaps, light the fuse and run like fck.

[TestMangler]

I'm sure you're right and the current weedkiller chemicals are mostly inert but much fun was had as a kid...

You're not kiddin' about available fun From making little sticks of dynamite with drinking straws and jetex fuse right up to the 4lb copper pipe bomb that I used on a disused railway bridge in Bowling in 1975 (sorry you honour, i didn't know what I was doing, I'm only 15).

There's a plan B for you CH. Import uninhibited Sodium Chlorate. You have a buyer lined up already

[Cliphead]

Can you still get uninhibited sodium chlorate in the UK ? I thought the stuff you could buy now was explosive inhibited.

In my teenage years I got into a bit of trouble with the old sodium chlorate and sugar combination A school toilet block and a disused railway bridge will testify to my actions or they would if I hadn't blown the f*ckers up.....

I absolutely LOVE amateur pyrotechnics

I'm sure you're right and the current weedkiller chemicals are mostly inert but much fun was had as a kid...

[TestMangler]

You can get weedkiller (sodium chlorate), sugar and matches in the UK. Spread liberally on the kitchen table and ignite.

Best indoor fireworks ever. Really. And totally safe

Can you still get uninhibited sodium chlorate in the UK ? I thought the stuff you could buy now was explosive inhibited.

In my teenage years I got into a bit of trouble with the old sodium chlorate and sugar combination A school toilet block and a disused railway bridge will testify to my actions or they would if I hadn't blown the f*ckers up.....

I absolutely LOVE amateur pyrotechnics

[Asper A Gus]

Plugging a fuse in Malcolm Buggeridge's arse and setting fire to it also provides the same effects.

[BrilloPad]

They won't even let you take Christmas crackers in your hand luggage

They will be banning heroin next.

[Cliphead]

You can get weedkiller (sodium chlorate), sugar and matches in the UK. Spread liberally on the kitchen table and ignite.

Best indoor fireworks ever. Really. And totally safe

[Malcolm Buggeridge]

Through the post? Hmmmm... how about just this: Amazon.co.uk: table firewroks

Fantastic. They've obviously been unbanned!

[darmstadt]

Easier to fly over and carry them back in your hand luggage.

They won't even let you take Christmas crackers in your hand luggage

[darmstadt]

Ooh, I may have to look into that.

Wonder if I could order some and have them sent to the UK?

Through the post? Hmmmm... how about just this: Amazon.co.uk: table firewroks

[BrilloPad]

Ooh, I may have to look into that.

Wonder if I could order some and have them sent to the UK?

Easier to fly over and carry them back in your hand luggage.

[Malcolm Buggeridge]

Rizlas also do this. Mind you, we have no problem getting indoor fireworks here: Amazon.de: Tischfeuerwerk

Ooh, I may have to look into that.

Wonder if I could order some and have them sent to the UK?

[darmstadt]

Take one of these wrappers, flatten it out and form a cylinder. Stand the paper cylinder on the dining table, and set light to the top of it with a match.

Rizlas also do this. Mind you, we have no problem getting indoor fireworks here: Amazon.de: Tischfeuerwerk

[Malcolm Buggeridge]

Years ago, a box of indoor fireworks would always feature as the post prandial entertainment at the annual Buggeridge Christmas dinner.

Now that those miserable health and safety scrooges have declared them illegal, we have had to come up with other forms of diversion but a chance meeting with an old chum at the Cock and Bottle last night has given me an idea of how to recreate those indoor pyrotechnics of Buggeridge Christmases past.

You see, according to my pal, all one needs is a box of ameretti biscuits or, more precisely, the wax paper wrappers in which they are enclosed.

Take one of these wrappers, flatten it out and form a cylinder. Stand the paper cylinder on the dining table, and set light to the top of it with a match.

Before the flames reach the bottom of the cylinder, the whole thing will lift off and form a floating "ring of fire" just like those indoor fireworks of yesteryear.


(A similar effect can be achieved by setting light to a paper party hat and is all the more amusing when said paper hat is perched atop the head of your great aunt).