Foot in mouth moments

[stek]

We were in the pub once (after college exams - so it's some years ago!) some mates, some people you saw, few new lads we never knew and one of them tells this long drawn out joke, punchline being '..and he only had one-arm!'...

We went all red-faced cos we felt for him as we knew what was coming. One of the lads (to my shame I've forgotten his name) rolled up his sleeve to reveal his false arm........

Same lad, come to think of it, claimed to be a body-double for (Googling this bit cos again, memory let's me down) Tim Pigott-Smith in Jewel in the Crown cos apparently the actor gets his arm cut off (not real, just acting). That might have been his one-arm party-piece lie though....

[Gentile]

I was asked at an interview what I thought of a particular lecturer at the University that both I and the interviewer had attended, called "Mr Dickman". I said "Yes, I remember him. I think he was appropriately-named." I got the gig, so I guess he couldn't have been the interviewer's Godfather or much-loved half brother.

[thunderlizard]

My worst recent one was when someone showed me a picture of himself at a fancy dress party. I said I was particularly impressed by the fake big comedy ears. He replied that he was not wearing fake ears.

[suityou01]

A project manager friend of mine was working on a project that was on track / going well and decided that there was an opportunity to come in early if he hired a BPM consultant. Needless to say hindsight is a wonderful thing and he regrets using the words in that fatal management meeting of 'May I introduce Mr Suityou01 who were hoping is going to bring this baby home to roost sooner than we expected'.

Your obsessing now and look like a twat.

[MarillionFan]

A project manager friend of mine was working on a project that was on track / going well and decided that there was an opportunity to come in early if he hired a BPM consultant. Needless to say hindsight is a wonderful thing and he regrets using the words in that fatal management meeting of 'May I introduce Mr Suityou01 who were hoping is going to bring this baby home to roost sooner than we expected'.

[mudskipper]

At my 1 year old ons birthday party yesterday, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to pat my sister in-law on her belly and say "is there another one on the way".

Needless to say there is not.

This one isn't big gob-ish, but another parental cringe moment.

My dad was up babysitting last week, and took my daughter for a walk. They came home with a helium balloon, pink with title "new baby princess" on it. They found it caught in a hedge at the end of someone's drive.

Yes, my dad nicked someone's new baby balloon from their garden.

Euthanasia. It's the kindest thing.

[jmo21]

At my 1 year old ons birthday party yesterday, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to pat my sister in-law on her belly and say "is there another one on the way".

Needless to say there is not.

This one isn't big gob-ish, but another parental cringe moment.

My dad was up babysitting last week, and took my daughter for a walk. They came home with a helium balloon, pink with title "new baby princess" on it. They found it caught in a hedge at the end of someone's drive.

Yes, my dad nicked someone's new baby balloon from their garden.