Contract Midfielder, Passer, Maestro
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Location: Bolton, England, with frequent travel £45k - £75k per week + Win Bonus £120k + a borrow of Kevin Davies' Bus Pass once a week
Temporary
My Client, just about still a Premier League Club, is seeking a suitable professional for the role of 'Midfielder' in a small team of other Midfielders who frequently go missing. This is short term role to cover the current incumbents sick leave. Candidates must have the right to work in the UK, and undergo screening for heart conditions, as my client does not want to make that mistake again.
The workload is extremely light, work rarely enters the Midfield Department, as the bulk of the work is done by the Defence Section, and the Head Goalkeeper, whose main duties involve picking the ball out of the back of the net, and the issue of ITIL-compliant Complaints to Referees and the new cover sheet for the TPS Reports.
The main skill sets required are:
1. Moaning to Referees
2. Passing ball left
3. Passing ball right
4. Passing ball back
5. Hoofing ball as far forward as possible to relieve the workload on the Forwards Department (average age 65)
6. Running about like a Headless Chicken
The successful candidate must have a high level of competency in at least 0/1 of the product sets above and extensive industry leading training will be provided in the other areas, such as fouling, spitting and Tweeting - this will make you one of the best Midfielders in the UK.
Its is also likely you will have at least two of the following:
1. Knowledge of Red Cards
2: Knowledge of Yellow Cards,
3. Knowledge of being sent off.
Apply Online for a quick response.
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JS-88207
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