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Previously on "Britain, the place to be"

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  • petergriffin
    replied
    Can anybody please help this illegal immigrant to reunite with her beloved $114 million US$ fund:

    FROM THE DESK OF MRS MARIAM ABACHA,
    Attn: Managing Director [thank you I'm not there yet but I'm working on it],
    Dear Sir,
    I salute you in the name of the most high God. I am Mrs. Mariam Abacha, the widow of the late Gen. Sani Abacha former Nigerian Military Head of State who died mysteriously as a result of Cardiac Arrest. Since my husband's death, my family has been under restriction of movement and that notwithstanding, we are being molested and constantly been harassed by the so called security officials, above all, our Bank accounts here and abroad have been frozen by the Nigeria Civilian Govt. Furthermore, my eldest son in detention by the Nigerian Government for more interrogation about my husband's assets and some vital documents.
    Following the recent discovery of my husband's bank account by the Nigerian Government with my son's bank in which a huge sum of US $700 million Dutch Mark, & another $450 million was also lodge and 1.6Billion Pounds Sterling belonging to my late husband, all the said fund was seized by the Government of Nigeria. I therefore wish to personally appeal to you seriously and religiously for your urgent assistance to transfer the sum of $58million US Dollars into your account in your country where I believe it will be safe, since we cannot leave the country due to the restriction of movement imposed on the members of my family by the Nigerian Government or can you receive for the Abacha family the funds already in Europe & America about $89million USD , already deposited with a security firm you can advise us on areas where and what to invest on abroad, already we are presently nursing real estates or any other blue chip investment you can reach my lawyer(DR ISA MUSA.) on his direct Tel lines as a copy of this letter is equally sent to him in confidence .Any advise should be directed to my lawyer for security reasons thank you,
    You can contact me through my lawyers Tel Number : +871-762336687 or Fax +871-762336689. Upon receipt of your good response. My lawyer shall arrange a meeting to facilitate the smooth transfer of the fund , that is to liase with him towards effective compromise of this transaction. However, arrangement have been put in place to remove more of the family fund amounting to$114 million US$ from a security firm were it is deposited , Before moving the remaining fund out of the country with the assistance of my husband's friend's that's some( some top government functionaries) still in government through a diplomatic means, and deposited in a security company, as soon as you indicate your interest. My lawyer shall send to you the Security Deposit Certificate and Airway Bill of the luggage and other related documents so that you can arrange how and where the luggage tagged _Family Treasures_. From an African king will be deposited. Conclusively, we have agreed to offer you 30% of the total sum while 70% in collaboration with my lawyer to be held on trust by you until we can decide on what to do next , subsequent to our free movement by the Nigerian Government. Please reply urgently and treat with absolute confidentiality and sincerity.
    Yours sincerely,
    Mrs. Mariam Abacha.(alhaja)

    Leave a comment:


  • The Spartan
    replied
    [QUOTE=Le Rosbif;1493255][QUOTE=The Spartan;1493249]
    Originally posted by Le Rosbif View Post
    How many can be squeezed in a A380 if all the seats are removed?
    If we fit them with parachutes we could save fuel and just parachute them into their countries as the plane passes overhead there's no need to land then

    Leave a comment:


  • Le Rosbif
    replied
    [QUOTE=The Spartan;1493249][QUOTE=Le Rosbif;1493121]At least you can find comfort in your women.

    More cushion for the pushing I say
    At last somebody with a sense of humour

    now where were we... how to send the illegal immigrants home cost effectively?

    How many can be squeezed in a A380 if all the seats are removed?

    Leave a comment:


  • The Spartan
    replied
    [QUOTE=Le Rosbif;1493121]At least you can find comfort in your women.[QUOTE]

    More cushion for the pushing I say

    Leave a comment:


  • doodab
    replied
    Originally posted by Le Rosbif View Post
    At least you can find comfort in your women.
    At least ours wash

    Leave a comment:


  • Le Rosbif
    replied
    Originally posted by The Spartan View Post
    Just goes to show how far this country has fallen, it's like the train contracts went to a German company no wonder their economy is better than ours we can even provide companies that are British with these contracts that would save jobs
    At least you can find comfort in your women.

    Or Not

    Leave a comment:


  • The Spartan
    replied
    Originally posted by gingerjedi View Post
    I have to pay £6 to a French company to go from England to Wales to work for another French company.
    Just goes to show how far this country has fallen, it's like the train contracts went to a German company no wonder their economy is better than ours we can even provide companies that are British with these contracts that would save jobs

    Leave a comment:


  • gingerjedi
    replied
    Originally posted by The Spartan View Post
    Let's face they're in the country illegally so someone is bound to take advantage of that because they shouldn't be here in the first place.
    And who is mostly taking advantage? Immigrants who are here legally.

    Maybe they should be incentivised not to do this.

    Leave a comment:


  • Le Rosbif
    replied
    Originally posted by gingerjedi View Post
    I have to pay £6 to a French company to go from England to Wales to work for another French company.
    That's the way it should be.

    Everywhere.

    Always.

    Leave a comment:


  • gingerjedi
    replied
    Originally posted by Pondlife View Post
    I know! I have to pay £6 to go over the bridge.

    I might just stop before the tolls and ask to be deported back to the valleys.
    I have to pay £6 to a French company to go from England to Wales to work for another French company.

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied
    Originally posted by Le Rosbif View Post
    Fetchez la vache!
    Something tells me that your knowledge of Monty-Python far exceeds your knowledge of French.

    Leave a comment:


  • Le Rosbif
    replied
    Originally posted by Churchill View Post
    Hey dickhead the way it works is that if I'm talking to you I will quote the post that I'm relating to.

    Now, ferme la bouche!
    Fetchez la vache!

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied
    Originally posted by Le Rosbif View Post
    Help those who want to go back to go home.

    Prevent the others from staying by restricting welfare and other incentives
    Hey dickhead the way it works is that if I'm talking to you I will quote the post that I'm relating to.

    Now, ferme la bouche!

    Leave a comment:


  • Le Rosbif
    replied
    Originally posted by Churchill View Post
    What do you suggest we do with them given that rounding 'em all up and gassing them in camps is frowned upon and has been since 1945?
    Help those who want to go back to go home.

    Prevent the others from staying by restricting welfare and other incentives

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied
    Originally posted by The Spartan View Post
    Paying people to go back to their own countries it's ridiculous
    What do you suggest we do with them given that rounding 'em all up and gassing them in camps is frowned upon and has been since 1945?

    Leave a comment:

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