- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Reply to: Relax...
Collapse
You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:
- You are not logged in. If you are already registered, fill in the form below to log in, or follow the "Sign Up" link to register a new account.
- You may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
- If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.
Logging in...
Previously on "Relax..."
Collapse
-
My toes twitch. I moan about husband snoring. He moans about my toenails going scratch, scratch, scratch. Sheets never last longer than a couple of years before I scratch a hole in them.
-
Wow! That's almost poetic!Originally posted by stek View PostAnyway, never got anywhere near leaving my body until about two years ago when it started twice. I shat myself both times and caused them to end.
Leave a comment:
-
I tried to get an OOBE yonks ago using similar relaxation technics. Always better to have a wank or two beforehand so you stop thinking about rumpy-pumpy when trying to chillax.
Anyway, never got anywhere near leaving my body until about two years ago when it started twice. I shat myself both times and caused them to end.
Leave a comment:
-
-
I prefer to call at the Swedish sauna for a massage with a happy ending, works every time
Leave a comment:
-
Relax...
I spent most of my life with very high levels of stress, for one reason or another. When I was about thirty odd, I decided to see if I could completely relax (id probbly been watching some sh1te american tv or something)
Anyway - get yourself a couple of hours when you know you wont be disturbed. Get into bed and get right under the blankets.
Then start with your right big toe. make sure its still and not twitching or tensed up in any way.
Now the left one.
Then the other toes
and now the arches.
Heels next, then ankles
Then make your calfs flop around, then your knees.
Thighs, buttocks
nobule area (or flaps)
then the stomache.
relax your back then shoulders
neck
then the brain.
think of nothing but relaxing
relax
you are sleepy.
when it works you will feel it in the pit of your stomach
a slight spasm, then you will collapse about quarter of an inch into the bed.
you can do it on your side, or on your back. but if you intend to do it face down, check the wardrobe first for southerners
Tags: None
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Six things coming to contractors in 2026: a year of change, caution and (maybe) opportunity Today 06:24
- Umbrella companies, beware JSL tunnel vision now that the Employment Rights Act is law Yesterday 06:11
- 26 predictions for UK IT contracting in 2026 Jan 5 07:17
- How salary sacrifice pension changes will hit contractors Dec 24 07:48
- All the big IR35/employment status cases of 2025: ranked Dec 23 08:55
- Why IT contractors are (understandably) fed up with recruitment agencies Dec 22 13:57
- Contractors, don’t fall foul of HMRC’s expenses rules this Christmas party season Dec 19 09:55
- A delay to the employment status consultation isn’t why an IR35 fix looks further out of reach Dec 18 08:22
- How asking a tech jobs agency basic questions got one IT contractor withdrawn Dec 17 07:21
- Are Home Office immigration policies sacrificing IT contractors for ‘cheap labour’? Dec 16 07:48

Leave a comment: