Putting "Yardies" back into the community

[Not So Wise]

putInCellWithHardCoreDevilWorshipperAndWebCam();

Now what has the poor devil worshipper done to deserve such cruel and unusual punishment?

[janey]

[threaded]

I don't know what you could possibly mean

*Janey in sweet and innocent mode*

Someone once asked me how they could get to be as good as me. I answered that a good start would be to keep both hands above the desk.

[janey]

I worry with what else they might be doing with their hands.

I don't know what you could possibly mean

*Janey in sweet and innocent mode*

[privateeye]

some people have FAR too much time on their hands!!!

I worry with what else they might be doing with their hands.

[janey]

some people have FAR too much time on their hands!!!

[Jakes Daddy]

I think the logic should be:

private void onConviction() {
  if (prisoner.type.equals('Illegal Immigrant')) {
    // why the feck is the Tax Payer paying to keep this scum bag ?
    deport();
    markScumBagsCardSoNeverAllowedBackIn();
  } else {
    lockUp();
  }
}

private void onTimeServed() {
  // prisoner has served his/her time - let them go
  releaseIntoCommunity();
}

private void lockUp() {
  if (prisoner.name.equals('Janey')) {
    putInCellWithRampantLesboAndWebCam();
  } elseif (prisoner.name.equals('Chico')) {
    putInCellWithHardCoreDevilWorshipperAndWebCam();
  } else {
    putInRandomOverCrowdedCell();
  }
}

[threaded]

Not too complicated?

Don't you mean this? Yours would free the entire prison population.

I'd blame the specification.

[decode]

Not too complicated?

Don't you mean this? Yours would free the entire prison population.

..perfectly qualified to be home secretary then

[expat]

I'm flabbergasted that this has been going on since 1999 and not one of the feckers at the home office could ensure a system was in place to stop it happening. It can't be that complicated..
IF release_date = Today AND prisoner_type='illegal immigrant' THEN DEPORT ELSE FREE;!!

Not too complicated?

Don't you mean this? Yours would free the entire prison population.

IF release_date = Today
then
IF prisoner_type='illegal immigrant'
THEN DEPORT
ELSE FREE
else
keep;

[decode]

I'm flabbergasted that this has been going on since 1999 and not one of the feckers at the home office could ensure a system was in place to stop it happening. It can't be that complicated..
IF release_date = Today AND prisoner_type='illegal immigrant' THEN DEPORT ELSE FREE;!!

[Hart-floot]

I just hope the Home Office are better at monitoring the Witness Protection programme

From todays BBC NEws..

"Details of more than 20 of the 80 most dangerous foreign prisoners freed without facing deportation cannot be found on the national police computer.
They include one murderer and a rapist. A source told the BBC police may not have sufficient details to run a check.

But Home Office minister Hazel Blears insisted the most serious offenders would be out on licence and monitored.

Home Secretary Charles Clarke is to report on progress tracing hundreds of the foreign convicts freed since 1999.

He is to give a written update to the House of Commons speaker on Friday afternoon outlining what has happened to some of the 1,023 foreign prisoners released between 1999 and last month. "