Reply to: UBS

[Mich the Tester]

Apparently the guy told the bank himself about what he'd done.

BBC News - UBS trader told bank of error, the BBC learns

Talking about ways around banking systems and 'how could their controls not pick up on this', well it's frankly a piece of piss for anyone with a little knowledge of a bank's systems to find places where you can hide money or even create it from thin air. I know of at least one very large bank where half their applications are supposedly not used but are not taken out of production because they've sacked all the people who know how they work and don't dare switch them off for fear that other systems fall down as a consequence; at least a thousand different applications where you could hide some dosh or some losses. Talking to fellow testers and other IT and risk management people who've worked in other banks apparently it's not an unusual situation. How did this situation arise? Well, start asking the incompetent egomaniacs who think it's smart to sack thousands of people for the sake of 'efficiencies' and 'plenty cheapness' without even having the first bloody clue what those people actually do every day. Oh no, we can't ask them because they're sitting on a beach in the Bahamas enjoying their failure bonusses. How about the countless warnings given by people like testers, risk analysts etc, which are ignored? How about all those moments when some junior asks a good question and is told not to busy himself with such matters? Anyone who's worked in a banking environment and has at least two functioning brain cells must have seen things that should be given a bloody good explanation and either didn't dare ask or was told to shut up by some self worshipping manager whose only concern was keeping bad news from his superiors (who maybe wouldn't care anyway).

This is not to excuse what the guy did, but it doesn't surprise me one bit.

But I have another question; given the slipshod state of systems management in several banks, why are auditors signing off their accounts each year?

[DodgyAgent]

Can't be our own DimPrawn, he is poor he is.

Not any more he isnt and he is not dead but living in hiding with Michael Jackson

[AtW]

At the bank's last accounts/auditing evaluations, my staffs came across an old account which was being maintained by Mr. Dim Prawn, a European. He was a seasoned contractor with Benin Cement Company, Cotonou, who unfortunately died in a plane crash of Union Transport Africaines Flight Boeing 727 in Cotonou, Republic of Benin on 25th December,

Can't be our own DimPrawn, he is poor he is.

[DodgyAgent]

You mean to say that this is not a scam? can we expect some emails?

am Mr.Kweku Adaboli, the director of the accounts & auditing dept UBS.Bank Of Africa Republic Of Benin With due respect, I have Decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be beneficial to both of us.

At the bank's last accounts/auditing evaluations, my staffs came across an old account which was being maintained by Mr. Dim Prawn, a European. He was a seasoned contractor with Benin Cement Company, Cotonou, who unfortunately died in a plane crash of Union Transport Africaines Flight Boeing 727 in Cotonou, Republic of Benin on 25th December, 2003.The deceased was Unable to run this account since his death. The account has remained dormant without the knowledge of his family since it was put in a safe deposit account in the bank for future investment by the client.

Since his demise, even the members of his family haven't applied for claims over this fund and it has been in the safe deposit account until I discovered that it cannot be claimed since our client is a foreign national and we are sure that he has no next of kin here to file claims over the money. As the director of the department, this discovery was brought to my office so as to decide what is to be done. I decided to seek ways through which to transfer this money out of the bank and out of the country too.

The total amount in the account is USD 5,350, 000.00 DOLLARS (FIVE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND US DOLLARS).with my positions as staffs of the bank, I am handicapped because I cannot operate foreign accounts and cannot lay bonafide claim over this money. The client was a foreign national and you will only be asked to act as his next of kin and I will supply you with all the necessary information and bank data to assist you in being able to transfer this money to any bank of your choice where this money could be transferred into.

You will read more stories about the crash on visiting this website:1.

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/en/doc/...ent_293549.htm

I have decided to give away forty (40%) to you for your assistance and ten (10%) for any expenses that might arise during the transaction of this transfer, I want to assure you that this transaction is absolutely risk free since I work in this bank that is why you should be confident in the success of this transaction because you will be updated with information as at when desired.

If this proposal is acceptable to you, kindly email your following information to me:

a. Full Name(s)
b. Direct phone & fax number(s)
c. Your direct email & any other information you may deem helpful.

I will wish you to keep this transaction secret and confidential as I am hoping to retire with my share of this money at the end of transaction which will be when this money is safety in your account. I will then come over to your country for sharing according to the previously agreed percentages. You might even have to advise me on possibilities of investment in your country or elsewhere of our choice. May God help you to help me to a restive retirement, Amen.
Please for further information and enquiries feel free to contact me

through my email address [email protected] or on my Telephone number:
I am waiting for your urgent response!!!

Thanks and remain blessed.
Mr Kweku Adaboli.

[SimonMac]

Just got the following email

My name is Kweku Adoboli, a highly successful futures trader. I have recently had a large windfall of £1.3billion, which is subject to large amounts of tax. To avoid these charges I need to distribute this money. I am willing to pay you £10million for allowing me to hide £100million in your bank account. All you need to do is send me your account details...

Who's in with me?

[Mich the Tester]

Oh dear, what a shower of amateurs!

[Le Rosbif]

Only 2b?

Kerviel did much better!

Jérôme Kerviel - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[Churchill]

Which doesn't seem to have been quite such a good idea 20 odd years on.

Which doesn't seem to have been quite such a good idea 20 odd years on - General Sir Peter Edgar de la Cour de la Billière...

[Churchill]

It's easier to defend there especially in cases where enemy is not skilled and tends to win wars with heavy casualties.

You're sounding more and more like a Celtic fan every day.

[AtW]

Mujahideen - of course it was all down to superior British training!

It's easier to defend there especially in cases where enemy is not skilled and tends to win wars with heavy casualties.

[Churchill]

Just like they did to Alexander the Great and countless other invaders that included Britain on more than one occasion ...

Ah but we're talking about the Russians here comrade, they got a real smartening!

Rivers of blood there was!

Mujahideen - of course it was all down to superior British training!

[AtW]

The Afghans showed 'em a thing or two...

Just like they did to Alexander the Great and countless other invaders that included Britain on more than one occasion ...

[Churchill]

Вставай, проклятьем заклеймённый,
Весь мир голодных и рабов!
Кипит наш разум возмущённый
И в смертный бой вести готов.
Весь мир насилья мы разрушим
До основанья, а затем
Мы наш, мы новый мир построим, —
Кто был ничем, тот станет всем.

Припев:

Это есть наш последний
И решительный бой.
С Интернационалом
Воспрянет род людской!

The Afghans showed 'em a thing or two...

[AtW]

Come the revolution, eh Comrade?

You are already revolting.

[Mich the Tester]

Come the revolution, eh Comrade?

Вставай, проклятьем заклеймённый,
Весь мир голодных и рабов!
Кипит наш разум возмущённый
И в смертный бой вести готов.
Весь мир насилья мы разрушим
До основанья, а затем
Мы наш, мы новый мир построим, —
Кто был ничем, тот станет всем.

Припев:

Это есть наш последний
И решительный бой.
С Интернационалом
Воспрянет род людской!