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Previously on "Sasguru's job up for the taking"

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  • Churchill
    replied
    Originally posted by doodab View Post
    It's mostly full of chavs in my experience. That's what happens when your arndale centre has a primarni.
    ftfy - just before CM leaps in with a

    Leave a comment:


  • doodab
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    Not enough. I guess there's too many short arse metrosexuals poncing around Wandsworth high street to make it an easy job.
    It's mostly full of chavs in my experience. That's what happens when your arndale centre has a primark.

    Leave a comment:


  • sasguru
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    Not enough. I guess there's too many rich short arse metrosexuals poncing around Wandsworth high street to make it an easy job.
    FTFY

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    Not enough. I guess there's too many short arse metrosexuals poncing around Wandsworth high street to make it an easy job.
    Nuke the place from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

    Leave a comment:


  • DimPrawn
    replied
    Originally posted by Churchill View Post
    How much did you pay the driver?
    Not enough. I guess there's too many short arse metrosexuals poncing around Wandsworth high street to make it an easy job.

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied
    Originally posted by DimPrawn View Post
    How much did you pay the driver?

    Leave a comment:


  • DimPrawn
    replied
    Originally posted by sasguru View Post
    FTFY and WTS.
    BREAKING NEWS: Pedestrian hit by lorry in Wandsworth High Street (From Your Local Guardian)

    Bugger! Never mind, there's always a next time.

    Leave a comment:


  • sasguru
    replied
    Originally posted by cailin maith View Post


    You are all poorly paid lower class provincial bumpkins, with no concept of how amazing London is and how tulip everywhere else is, moronic cretins.

    Love, Sasguru
    FTFY and WTS.

    Leave a comment:


  • cailin maith
    replied
    Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post


    You are all poorly paid lower class provincial bumpkin cretins.

    Love, Sasguru


    You are all poorly paid lower class provincial bumpkin, with no concept of how amazing London is and how tulip everywhere else is, cretins.

    Love, Sasguru

    Leave a comment:


  • Mich the Tester
    replied
    Originally posted by cailin maith View Post


    You are all 'poorly paid' cretins.

    Love, Sasguru


    You are all poorly paid lower class provincial bumpkin cretins.

    Love, Sasguru

    Leave a comment:


  • cailin maith
    replied
    Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
    You are all cretins.

    Love, Sasguru.


    You are all 'poorly paid' cretins.

    Love, Sasguru

    Leave a comment:


  • Mich the Tester
    replied
    You are all cretins.

    Love, Sasguru.

    Leave a comment:


  • sasguru
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
    I've just been headhunted!!!

    Rate: £90K-£110K per annum + 20% bonus + package Location: South West London

    This Head of Analysis opportunity requires exceptionally strong SAS statistical/analytical software experience, together with advanced people management and client management skills and experience. The position represents an excellent opportunity to join a leading, niche international analytics, consulting and services business that helps retailers, FMCG's and gaming clients achieve customer-centric change, utilising data analysis and insight to deliver deep consumer understandings. To achieve this, they analyse customer & transaction data, develops strategies for companies' product line, price, promotion & communications policies, & provides tools & solutions to support their implementation. Combining customer insights from data analysis with commercial & marketing expertise, they generate breakthrough recommendations for their clients. This company is working successfully for some of the world's leading retailers and consumer businesses helping them to put their customers at the heart of everything they do. Customers include leading Retailers, Grocery Multiples, FMCG's and Gaming companies. The role: As Head of Analytics you will lead the team of SAS Analysts, manage client relationships & projects being accountable for delivering the insight to meet and exceed their needs, be instrumental in the continued growth of the portfolio and analytics function here in the UK and also in the US. Required skills and experience: Advanced hands-on SAS statistical/analytical software experience. Experience leading analytical teams interrogating and interpreting large amounts of datausing a variety of analytical techniques, eg segmentation, profiling and modelling. Experienced people and client manager. An advanced level of SAS competency is absolutely essential. Salary on offer is a basic of £90K-£110K on experience. In addition there is a 20% bonus and comprehensive benefits package. The company is based in South West London, with excellent transport links and about 15 minutes from Waterloo station. Randstad Technologies Ltd is a leading specialist recruitment business for the IT industry. Please note that due to a high level of applications, we can only respond immediately to applicants whose skills & qualifications are suitable for this position. No terminology in this advert is intended to discriminate on the grounds of age, we will gladly accept applications from persons of any age for this role. For the purposes of the Conduct Regulations 2003, when advertising permanent vacancies we are acting as an Employment Agency, and when advertising temporary/contract vacancies we are acting as an Employment Business.
    Salary is a bit low.

    Leave a comment:


  • mrdonuts
    replied
    didnt see any reference to crystal reports in that ad

    Leave a comment:


  • Mich the Tester
    replied
    Originally posted by Mich the Tester View Post
    Is a semi-colon the bit before the semi-rectum?
    Originally posted by shaunbhoy View Post
    No. I thought it was what you were left with if you had part of your colon surgically removed?
    Well that's sorted then. The solution to their conundrum is up their own arses. No need for them to argue any more, CUK General to the rescue!

    Leave a comment:

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