I have a friend in the media business, who tells me that they have been commissioned by Downing St to put together some top notch telly to be broadcast in the event of further rioting. The idea is that everyone will stay in and watch telly on their newly acquired flat screens.
They are about to start filming a pilot of Celebrity Cum Looting, in which Ann Widdecombe and Brucie slug it out for the the right to felch the love juices of the England football squad out of Paul Daniels. Media stories are already planned with a Daily Mail columnist preparing a rant about celebrity cumbags, and a Red Top tabloid due to be fitted up on charges of hacking celebrity maleboxes.
