Tell it like it is

[PerlOfWisdom]

'Ere, Alf... is that a quote from ISIRTA or Monty Python?

June 4th, 1973 was much like any other summer’s day in Peterborough and Ralph Mellish, a file clerk at an insurance company, was on his way to work as usual when - nothing happened! Scarcely able to believe his eyes, Ralph Mellish looked down, but one glance confirmed his suspicions: behind a bush, on the side of the road, there was no severed arm, no dismembered trunk of a man in his late fifties, no head in a bag – nothing, not a sausage! For Ralph Mellish this was not to be the start of any trail of events which would not, in no time at all, involve him in neither a tangled knot of suspicion nor any web of lies, which would - had he been not uninvolved - surely have led him to no other place than the Central Criminal Court of the Old Bailey. But it was not to be!

Ralph Mellish reached his office in ...[name] Street, Peterborough, at 9.05 a.m.., exactly the same time he usually got in.

ENID: Morning, Mr. Mellish.

MELLISH: Morning, Enid.

Enid, a sharp-eyed, clever young girl, who had been with the firm for only four weeks, couldn't help noticing the complete absence of tiny, but telltale blood stains on Mr. Mellish's clothing. Nor did she notice anything strange in Mr Mellish’s behaviour that whole morning, nor the next morning nor at any time before or since the entire period she worked with that firm.

MELLISH: Have the new paper clips arrived, Enid?

ENID: Yes, they are over there, Mr Mellish.

MELLISH: Oh.

But for the lack of any untoward circumstances for this young secretary to notice and the total non-involvement of Mr. Mellish in anything illegal, the full weight of the law would have ensured that Ralph, Aldous Mellish would have ended up like all who challenge the fundamental laws of our society: in an iron coffin with spikes on the inside!

[vista]

Revenue Raising Idea

Pay 40% tax to qualify to vote!!!!!



Why should ponses get the vote?

No Taxation without Representation cuts both ways.

[AlfredJPruffock]

You're weird!

But I don't want to go among mad people," Churchill the Dog barked.

"Oh, you can't help that," said Pruffocks Cat:

"we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."

"How do you know I'm mad?" said Churchill.

"You must be," said Pruffocks Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

[Churchill]

Luxury.

We used to dream of being burned at the stake.

Gimme a good old fashioned Iron Coffin ... with spikes on the inside.

You're weird!

[AlfredJPruffock]

Or when people were burned at the stake, the bill for the wood, faggots, etc. was sent to the next of kin.

Luxury.

We used to dream of being burned at the stake.

Gimme a good old fashioned Iron Coffin ... with spikes on the inside.

[Dundeegeorge]

Bill for the faggots?

Or when people were burned at the stake, the bill for the wood, faggots, etc. was sent to the next of kin.

Is this a BBC license fee question?

[threaded]

Or when people were burned at the stake, the bill for the wood, faggots, etc. was sent to the next of kin.

[Churchill]

I like your style. Bit 1940's Germany but hey...

China 2006 - and they send the bill for the bullet to the deceased's next of kin.

[Mailman]

How much does a 9mm round cost? A heck of a lot less than a court case!

Mailman

[Mailman]

Yeah, quite a few of those entries are calling for extra taxes

Here's an idea, why dont we increase taxes on the poor while at the same time decrease taxes on the rich. Think of it as an incentive to get yourself in to the top tax bracket so you can pay less...while those who are underachievers pay more (as it should be! ).

Mailman

[Lucifer Box]

I always enjoy reading the "Have Your Say" on what should be in the budget. Every year 90% of the respondents say "I think taxes on [insert socio-economic group I dislike] should be increased so that my taxes can be decreased".

[Dundeegeorge]

From BBC Have Your Say, on what will Brown be lying to us about on Wednesday, sorry, what will be in the budget on Wednesday.



Some recognition that we, the hardworking middle-class, are the people who actually PAY to keep this whole show on the road, and that we are sick to the back teeth of coming last in the priority behind Economic migrants, Itinerants, profesional Scroungers, the Feckless and Profligate, the deliberately idle and the criminal underclass.


one for re-education I think....