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Reply to: Planet Earth

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Previously on "Planet Earth"

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  • sasguru
    replied
    And as Jesus and his followers were walking along, they came across a prostitute. And some of his disciples were rude to her but Jesus stopped them saying "Let you who is without blame cast the first stone".

    An old woman on the edge of the crowd picked up a sharp stone and threw it at the prostitute, hitting her on the head and killing her stone dead.

    Jesus turned to her and said "Mum, I'm really getting hacked off with you".

    Leave a comment:


  • Xenophon
    replied
    Originally posted by sasguru
    WALKING across a bridge, I saw a man on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: “Stop. Don’t do it.”

    “Why not?” he asked.

    “Well, there’s so much to live for!”

    “Like what?”

    “Are you religious?”

    He said: “Yes.”

    I said: “Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?”

    “Christian.”

    “Me, too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?”

    “Protestant.”

    “Me, too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”

    “Baptist.”

    “Me, too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Church of the Lord?”

    “Baptist Church of God.”

    “Me, too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or Reformed Baptist Church of God?”

    “Reformed Baptist Church of God.”

    “Me, too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?”

    He said: “Reformation of 1915.”

    I said: “Die, heretic scum,” and pushed him off.


    Leave a comment:


  • sasguru
    replied
    A joke from Iran

    WALKING across a bridge, I saw a man on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: “Stop. Don’t do it.”

    “Why not?” he asked.

    “Well, there’s so much to live for!”

    “Like what?”

    “Are you religious?”

    He said: “Yes.”

    I said: “Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?”

    “Christian.”

    “Me, too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?”

    “Protestant.”

    “Me, too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?”

    “Baptist.”

    “Me, too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Church of the Lord?”

    “Baptist Church of God.”

    “Me, too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or Reformed Baptist Church of God?”

    “Reformed Baptist Church of God.”

    “Me, too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?”

    He said: “Reformation of 1915.”

    I said: “Die, heretic scum,” and pushed him off.

    Leave a comment:


  • threaded
    replied
    Are you sure it's not feeding time for the Lions?

    Leave a comment:


  • Mordac
    replied
    Another poem from Iran

    Come friendly nukes and fall on Tehran...

    (with a little help from Sir John Betjeman)

    Leave a comment:


  • Chico
    replied
    A Poem from Iran

    I feel a poem coming on.....

    Christ - The Messiah - The Saviour Has Come
    Persian Poetry by Gherajeh Da'aghi describing the coming of Messiah (Jesus Christ)

    O People, Take a notice, The Messiah Has Come! The Saviour of the World Has Come!
    All the creation testify to His coming, Open your hearts and see your Redeemer!
    Don't wait another day, open your eyes and see, Prince of Peace, The Messiah has come.

    Leave a comment:


  • realityhack
    replied
    Are we going to see an interview with the Giant Turtle and 4 elephants in HD too?

    Leave a comment:


  • sasguru
    replied
    Originally posted by Churchill
    Have you seen the teeth on those things? Think ZG, only bigger!
    Actually wrong question. The right one is:

    God, why don't you let the Chicos die out?

    Leave a comment:


  • Churchill
    replied
    Originally posted by sasguru
    Chico why did God let the dinosaurs die out?

    Have you seen the teeth on those things? Think ZG, only bigger!

    Leave a comment:


  • ladymuck
    replied
    Originally posted by PerlOfWisdom
    Would have looked better if it had rings like Saturn. And 2 suns.
    I think we're working on the rings quite nicely by ourselves, what with satellites, space-ship debris and golf balls all floating about up there. And, if things go the way they seem to be, I would imagine we could create our sun when we all nuke each other to oblivion at some point in time already decided by the ever accurate Nostrodamus.

    Did anyone watch Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea on Sunday? Made me laff, didn't know you could park a sub on the sea bed and patch in to the phone cable running from Rio to London! Now that's a cunning way to get cheap long distance calls!

    Leave a comment:


  • sasguru
    replied
    Chico why did God let the dinosaurs die out?

    Leave a comment:


  • PerlOfWisdom
    replied
    Originally posted by Chico
    Amazing what a wonderful world we live in - not evolved from nothing but created by God who has ordered it and made it beautiful.
    Would have looked better if it had rings like Saturn. And 2 suns.

    Leave a comment:


  • white-anglo-reactionary
    replied
    Such foresite...

    HE even put all the non-believers in earthquake zones, flood plains, and famine areas to punish them because they DO NOT BELIEVE IN HIM. Such an enlightened supreme being...

    Leave a comment:


  • Xenophon
    replied
    Originally posted by Chico
    Anyone watching Planet Earth on BBC One?

    Amazing what a wonderful world we live in - not evolved from nothing but created by God who has ordered it and made it beautiful.



    All glory be to the God and appreciation to the BBC for bringing it to our screens.

    How the Earth was created.
    Amen.

    Leave a comment:


  • threaded
    replied
    Isn't it feeding time for the Lions?

    Leave a comment:

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