Reply to: Wilmslowesque mishap

[Mich the Tester]

Morning all, MTT reporting back for duty!



Hydrogen peroxide mouthwash has reduced infection and strong painstillers helping too. First good night of sleep in several days.

Shall avoid rice or citrus fruit at lunchtime.

[doodab]

Any good?

I definitely prefer it to flossing. The first time I used it made my gums bleed, but now it's fine, and it definitely gets stuff out. I've stopped waking up thinking someone has taken a tulip in my mouth.

[Clippy]

I have one of these

Any good?

[doodab]

I have one of these

[Clippy]

Yesterday I went to the dentist. Aside from the completion of root canal treatment, the extraction of a wisdom tooth was on the agenda. The root canal job passed without incident, as is the norm these days. However, the extraction of the wisdom tooth was a little more difficult. Picture the scene; my dentist, a former Dutch motocross champion with arms like Popeye, twisting the pliers back and forth while I offered as much resistance as my 18 inch neck could muster.

Eventually the wisdom tooth let go and came out, the dentist stumbling backwards as my tooth and his pliers shot out of my mouth together. Luckily without damage to the front teeth.

Now I have a large hole where the roots of the wisdom tooth used to be. Rather naïvely I went to lunch in a nearby Spanish restaurant today and enjoyed a satisfactory, if slightly bland paella. I now have a grain of rice stuck in the hole, and rinse as I may, it won’t come out.

Book a week in a hospital. You will need it as the rotten rice grain causes an infection that hits your facial nerve and paralyses your face for approximately 10 days.

The hospital will not actually do anything to help but at least you can lose a little weight from being on a diet of NaClH2O via IV for a week.

Or at least that is what happened to my wife when she had her last wisdom tooth pulled.

I still have all mine.

I have all mine too but one is only partially errupted which has created a 'pocket' where food debris sometimes gets trapped.

It's a nuisance to keep clean and sometimes, if I miss some food, can get inflamed - I bought one of these which helps.

[mudskipper]

Worse than that; I've got a hydrogen peroxide mouthwash, which tastes just like, erm, hydrogen peroxide.

At least your teeth will be lovely and white. What's left of 'em anyway.

[alreadypacked]

I removeed the 'grain of rice' with a toothpick while Lady Tester shined a torch in my mouth. Turns out it was a lemon seed from some ice tea I drank with my meal.

Fooking excrutiating pain all night as it seems to be infected; must go to dentist again this morning.

I told you, get on a train NOW!

[hyperD]

I see Dr hyperD was right again - the wooden cocktail stick, the amateur surgeon's scalpel.

Linguini is also a pain when you've recently had extractions.

[doodab]

Worse than that; I've got a hydrogen peroxide mouthwash, which tastes just like, erm, hydrogen peroxide.

Should have gone with the jet of piss

[Mich the Tester]

You need to fill your mouth with maggotts, and leave for half an hour.

They'll remove said infection, leaving the wound clean.

OK, the thought of a mouthful of maggotts may make you vomit, but in the long run, that's nothing compared with the searing pain of an abscess, is it?

Worse than that; I've got a hydrogen peroxide mouthwash, which tastes just like, erm, hydrogen peroxide.

[wobbegong]

I removeed the 'grain of rice' with a toothpick while Lady Tester shined a torch in my mouth. Turns out it was a lemon seed from some ice tea I drank with my meal.

Fooking excrutiating pain all night as it seems to be infected; must go to dentist again this morning.

You need to fill your mouth with maggotts, and leave for half an hour.

They'll remove said infection, leaving the wound clean.

OK, the thought of a mouthful of maggotts may make you vomit, but in the long run, that's nothing compared with the searing pain of an abscess, is it?

[Mich the Tester]

I removeed the 'grain of rice' with a toothpick while Lady Tester shined a torch in my mouth. Turns out it was a lemon seed from some ice tea I drank with my meal.

Fooking excrutiating pain all night as it seems to be infected; must go to dentist again this morning.

[wobbegong]

You guys are way off the mark.

He needs to fill his mouth with ants, and leave for half an hour.

They'll remove said grain of rice under the misapprehension it's one of their eggs.

OK, some of the more patriotic of the gang might give you an admonishing nip or two, but in the long run, that's nothing compared with the searing pain of an abscess, is it?

[Platypus]

If it's an upper, then a hammer drill with a 6mm bit ought to suffice*.




*IANAD

But you were in the 70's ?

[hyperD]

Use one of those ultrasonic toothbrushes and break up the rice grain particle. You might need a few recharges though. Probably 80 of them.

Or pretend you are a surgeon and with a mirror, a bright torch shining in your eyes use two cocktail sticks to gently manoeuvre the offending rice grain out while a friend wipes your sweating brow. Don't forget to inhale copious amounts of nitrous oxide for effect and before you start the operation, try and wash your hands and turn the taps off with your elbows while putting on a pair of yellow washing up gloves.