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There was this Indian bird right, called Gulpah, and she was enjoying the life of a good time girl in Manchester, out clubbing till all hours, a different bloke every week.
So one day she goes to India to meet her extended family and she meets a prince and they fall in love. She flies back home for a month to wrap up her job and stuff and she is in a wine bar talking to her best friend. She explains that in the culture over there she is expected to be a virgin, and when the princes mum had asked her outright, she had lied and said Yes I am a virgin.
'What am I going to do ? he will know straight away. its like a wizards sleeve'
So Tracey her friend says 'ah well, I have had this before, get an elastic band and stick it up your, you know what. When he gets down to buisiness it will twang, and you say oh dear, there goes my virginity'
This is a great plan, but Gulpah doesnt think a simple elastic band would be enough, so she goes to a model aircraft shop and buys three yards of donkey elastic.
On the wedding night, they undress in the candlelight and the prince cannot control himself
bboooiiiiinngggggg!!!
Prince - 'WTF was THAT'
Gulpah flutters her eylashes - 'what ? oh that, it was just my virginity flying out the window'
Prince - 'Well get after the fker quick, its took my b*llocks with it'
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Crap. You beat me to the same joke.Originally posted by sasguru View Post
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Especially for a total novice like you SBOriginally posted by shaunbhoy View Post
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Not sure I would kick her out of bed for farting, but who in their right mind would spend that sort of money having sex with a bird who has no idea what she is doing??
Surely, if you were that desperate, you could ensconce yourself in a top hotel for a week with a gaggle of tasty and experienced hookers, a crate of Champers, and still have enough left for a month's rent in bedsitland?
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I think some serious questions need to be asked of AtW's investorLeave a comment:
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Virginity for sale!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...for-20000.html
A poor university student in New Zealand who offered her virginity on an auction site has accepted a £20,000 offer to sleep with a stranger.
By Andrew Hough
Published: 10:00PM GMT 03 Feb 2010
Natalie Dylan: Poor New Zealand student 'sells virginity to stranger for £20,000'
Last year American student Natalie Dylan, auctioned off her virginity to fund her master's degree.
Poor New Zealand student 'sells virginity to stranger for £20,000'
While Italian model Raffella Fico tried to sell the first time she had sex for 1m euros
The 19-year-old, who has not been named or pictured, said she posted the advert to help pay for her university fees.
The girl, from Northland, in New Zealand's north island, is only known by her username Unigirl.
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Teenager sells virginity for £9,000
She wrote on auction site ineed.co.nz after the auction had finished at NZ$46,000: "I have accepted an offer in excess of $NZ45,000, which is way beyond what I dreamed."
The student added that the advert had been viewed by more than 30,000 people and had received more than 1200 offers.
She wrote: "Thank you to the more than 30,000 people who viewed my ad and to the more than 1200 offers made."
In the auction she described herself as attractive, fit and healthy and that she had never been in a sexual relationship. "
**** me (literally)! I could get a bit of money to meet costs under BN66 if I were 'fit.'
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