Reply to: I'd rather...

[darmstadt]

I'd rather live in England

[RichardCranium]

I'm looking for new ways of telling people I'd prefer to be doing something else, perhaps just thinking of Lady Tester's younger brother who's invited me to his stag night.

Many years ago, my Senior Programmer invited all his colleagues to go on his stag night. About 20 or so blokes he invited from work.

He was a born again Christian, did not permit swearing or profanity in the office and was generally not considered a party animal.

I went. Nobody else from work did.

It turned out he was the rebel in the family: the rest were hard drinking, hard partying, dirty-joke-telling great blokes. It was an excellent night; the best stag night I've ever been on.

When I turned up at work on the following Monday, just for a laugh I told everyone we just sat in his mum's parlour eating little cakes and drinking white wine with the minister - and everyone believed me.

Go to the stag night and if it's crap, make it better by being there. It's the pool little sod's last chance for a half-decent night out. And then tell Mrs Tester she owes you a 'favour' for making you go. :

[Mich the Tester]

go on the stag do you miserable sod

NO. If anything's bound to turn me into a miserable sod it's a stag night with a bunch of Dutch manual labourers drinking lukewarm heineken from the bottle while being pressured into playing darts.

[original PM]

go on the stag do you miserable sod

[norrahe]

They’re going to this place; http://www.partyhotelhaasje.nl/

It all looks frightfully chavvy.

you mean it looks well fierce, innit, bangin' choons booyakasha!

(Please excuse if I have muddled the chav parlance, one is unfamiliar with the common tongue in these parts)

[OrangeHopper]

I would rather look at a purple themed website ......

[scaramanga]

I'd rather French kiss John Prescott.

[Mich the Tester]

How about "I'd rather come to your stag party" ?

They’re going to this place; http://www.partyhotelhaasje.nl/

It all looks frightfully chavvy.

[OwlHoot]

How about "I'd rather come to your stag party" ?

or

"I'd rather push a frozen pea down every frozen canal in Holland with my nose, and fall through the ice at the end" ?

[MPwannadecentincome]

But as he's dutch: I'd rather shove a windmill up my arse

if you say that he might just bring a windmill round!

[Doggy Styles]

I'd rather calculate the national debt using roman numerals

But as he's dutch: I'd rather shove a windmill up my arse

[Mich the Tester]

I'd rather go to a Toppers Concert....

Trouble is, he likes that kind of tosh.

[SizeZero]

Excellent, but he's Dutch, so I'll have to adapt the names.

I'd rather go to a Toppers Concert....

[Mich the Tester]

I's rather drill holes in my feet with a rusty hand drill

This is a good one, and quite appropriate seeing as the young fellow's a builder.

[blacjac]

I's rather drill holes in my feet with a rusty hand drill