Greatest Contractor Ever

[Diver]

I've just checked the cats. they are ok too. so it could have been a lot worse.

Are you mixing the home-brew with acetone again EO?

[EternalOptimist]

I've just checked the cats. they are ok too. so it could have been a lot worse.

[EternalOptimist]

Ssshh! We're still not supposed to talk about the Russki-monitoring stations off Scotland. (Despite the BBC inadvertently doing a comedy series set in one without realising they were indeed still active. )

How are those blokes in the Balaclava helmets getting on crawling through the rockery?

those two blokes ? whew, it was a close one. they wernt after me at all. They got the missus though and cut her into bits and shoved her remains into the freezer in the garage.
but , hey ho. at least Im ok.

[RichardCranium]

EO was a soldier posted to the remote island of St Kilda, 100 miles off the Scottish coast out into the fierce Atlantic.
His job ? radar technician, keeping the radars going to track the Russkis and the missiles firing off of Benbecula.

Ssshh! We're still not supposed to talk about the Russki-monitoring stations off Scotland. (Despite the BBC inadvertently doing a comedy series set in one without realising they were indeed still active. )

How are those blokes in the Balaclava helmets getting on crawling through the rockery?

[EternalOptimist]

<cough>
true story here.


EO was a soldier posted to the remote island of St Kilda, 100 miles off the Scottish coast out into the fierce Atlantic.
His job ? radar technician, keeping the radars going to track the Russkis and the missiles firing off of Benbecula. His real job ? to keep the telly working so that the other 29 blokes dont kill him and rip him limb from limb.

So one night the feed from the ariel frayed and young EO is out on the roof for two hours, repairing and re laying the coax. Numbed cold he goes to the puffin bar , six pints and two bags of nuts, then off to the telly room.

Amid hails of abuse, he turns around , drops his kecks, and machine guns them with a wet fart, peanuts pebble dashing the front rank.

the officer commanding, a gunner leuitenant, shouted from the back
'FCK ME, even Red Adair coulnt cap THAT b@stard'

cnt

[Paddy]

Now outsourced to Much Raging Petroleum Fire Extinguished with Plenty Cheapness of Bangalore

[Tingles]

Best. Quote. Ever.

"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur."

Words to impart during extension negotiations.

[DimPrawn]

[RichardCranium]

I preferred Green Adair.

For those who don't know, or have forgotten, Green Adair left the Irish Fire Brigade, bought a clapped-out 2nd hand Green Goddess off the UK government and went freelance.

When the fires started in Kuwait, he got himself, his mates and his fire engine shipped out on a Hercules.

As it landed and the back opened, Green Adair & mates drove out of the back of the Hercules, whizzed across the desert, straight into a burning oil well.

Green Adair and the boys leapt out, potato sacks in their hands, and beat the flames out.

They wandered back to the airfield and some Merkin General said: "That's fantastic boys. I've never seen anything like it. You're hired. We thought our Red Adair was good, but you're great. Here's a million bucks to start with."

Obviously Green Adair and the lads were well chuffed.

"So," says Green Adair to his boys. "What shall we spend the money on?"

To which Seamus, the driver, said "How about some new brakes for that bloody fire engine?"

[Sysman]

Best. Quote. Ever.

"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur."

+2

[swamp]

Best. Quote. Ever.

"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur."

+1

W(RA)S

[Moscow Mule]

Best. Quote. Ever.

"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur."

[Diver]

I think you could say that Red Adair was the Greatest Contractor Ever.

Imagine his day rate in Kuwait during 1991.

More info here.

"I'm never bothered by life-insurance salesmen"

[swamp]

I think you could say that Red Adair was the Greatest Contractor Ever.

Imagine his day rate in Kuwait during 1991.

More info here.