HAB’s Diary

[singhr]

Monday 30 November 2009

As is normal of a gentleman of my advanced years at that time of the morn, my first thoughts were to make use of the wanking spanners. This I did and brought great relief..

fixed that for ya!

[RichardCranium]

Have you had your telegram from the Queen yet today?

[Mich the Tester]

My wireless apparatus

You never said you'd had a vasectomy!

[Spacecadet]

is that you Rimmer?

[HairyArsedBloke]

Monday 30 November 2009

I did wake at 7 of the clock with the assistance of the timepiece in my bed chamber. As is normal of a gentleman of my advanced years at that time of the morn, my first thoughts were to make use of the water closet. This I did and brought great relief. A tempest was assaulting the window pains of my bed chamber and the moody clouds brought a melancholy aspect to dim light. I have vowed to no rise in darkness so I retreated back to my bed.

My wireless apparatus is a fine device and I derive great pleasure from the bountiful miscellany of stations it does convey. Rather than listen to some minstrels playing the latest popular ballad, or some light classical arrangement, I did choose a news and current affairs programme on the Home Service that has the title of ‘Today’. A young lady did relay news from around the world that is most distressing; there is much suffering all around us. The hosts of this programme do a grave disservice to their patrons as they present each topic they discuss solely with a very liberal aspect; it is most vexatious.

At about eight of the clock I did rise again and leave my bed chamber, but not before I opened the window to allow the egress of the foul odious vapours that have accumulated throughout the night from my flatulence.

I made my way to the kitchen where I began the preparation of my coffee. I live a solitary bachelor life without the assistance of a cook, maid, or even a man servant. Impecuniary does prohibit the provision of such services which one would normally expect. I do confess that my humble status does attract much ridicule as I demonstrate a level of extreme incompetency in my feeble attempts at performing those tasks myself.