Message from HR

[BobTheCrate]

Dear HR pseudo management,

Really ? That's interesting though I think you could use more training. Also I'm certain what you suggest isn't feasible. Perhaps you should check with somebody else in HR as I don't think you understand.

At the end of the day I'm not really involved in this project of yours and I'm not sure your suggestion can be implemented. If it can be I'll try to schedule that in assuming you're familiar with the issues and you want me to take care of it.

[AlfredJPruffock]

which number was that?

I think it was 5 15


I have to be careful not to preach
I can't pretend that I can teach

And yet I've lived your future out
By pounding stages like a clown

And on the dance floor broken glass

The bloody faces slowly pass
The broken seats in empty rows

It all belongs to me you know.

[Pinto]

which number was that?

18?

[n5gooner]

Who's he work for then?

no I think you ment

who the **** does he work for...........

[Phoenix]

Good thing Ozzie Osbourne didn't take up contracting then.

Who's he work for then?

[Denny]

Good thing Ozzie Osbourne didn't take up contracting then.

[Phoenix]

which number was that?

I think you mean
What fuc*ing number?

[n5gooner]

Who gives a sh*t?

which number was that?

[Phoenix]

Who gives a sh*t?

[n5gooner]

When a man is running from his boss
Who hold a gun that fires "cost"

[AlfredJPruffock]

When I hear the words HR , I reach for my revolver.

[Daywalker]

No5 Works every time!

[DimPrawn]

Due to the rather surly and earthy contractor types at this client, we've just received this from HR.

SWEARING AT WORK

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore a list of 18 New and innovative phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.



1) TRY SAYING:

I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF:

You don't know what the f___ you're doing.



2) TRY SAYING:

Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF:

And when the f___ do you expect me to do that?



3) TRY SAYING:

I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF:

No f___ing chance.



4) TRY SAYING:

Really?

INSTEAD OF:

You've got to be sh__ing me!



5) TRY SAYING:

Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF:

Tell someone who gives a f__.



6) TRY SAYING:

I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF:

It's not my f____ing problem.



7) TRY SAYING:

That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF:

What the f___?



8) TRY SAYING:

I'm not sure this can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF:

This sh__ won't work.



9) TRY SAYING:

I'll try to schedule that in.

INSTEAD OF:

Why the f___ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner?



10) TRY SAYING:

He's not familiar with the issues.

INSTEAD OF:

He's got his head up his a__.



11) TRY SAYING:

Excuse me sir?

INSTEAD OF:

Eat sh__ and die.



12) TRY SAYING:

So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF:

Kiss my f___ a__.



13) TRY SAYING:

I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF:

F___ it, I'm not doing overtime.



14) TRY SAYING:

I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF:

Shove it up your a__ dumb f____



15) TRY SAYING:

I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF:

This job sucks c__k.



16) TRY SAYING:

You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF:

Who the f___ died and made you boss?



17) TRY SAYING:

He's somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF:

He's a pr_ck.



Thank You,

Human Resources