Reply to: Rant!!!

[norrahe]

I'm having Goose this Christmas.

Found a great little butchers called Allen in Mayfair.

I've just ordered my turkey from here again

The three bird roasts are great

[OwlHoot]

... The Badger is off btw - it's now Pickled Partridge.

I'm having Goose this Christmas.

Found a great little butchers called Allen in Mayfair.

[darmstadt]

FFS

Agents, I do not 'live too far away' for any contract. I own a business. My business competes by doing the work where and when the client wants it ......

Beat me to it. I am sick and tired of getting mails which have absolutely no relevance to what I do.

- we know you do keyword searches but when you find the TLA or phrase you have searched for, please read the text relevant to where you found it to see if it relates to what you are looking for

- my CV says VM. This does not mean I know Java nor am I a J2EE specialist. If you had researched further you would have seen that it in fact relates to the Virtual Machine operating system from IBM. Something totally different. Same for CMS

- stop sending me superfluous roles such as the one for whatever it was as I didn't understand it

- stop sending me SAP roles. Once again even if it is in my CV you'll find out what I did with SAP. I don't have a clue what all the different modules are

- yes I know that I have DB2 experience but you will notice that nowhere do I say that I am a DBA. The only time I have done DBA was on DQL/DS which is very different

- I am not a COBOL programmer and if I was I would not want to fly to the USA for an interview on my own expense for a 1 year contract. Did you not read where I live?

- if you want me to use iProfile then please do not send me a mail with my userid and password in clear text. In fact due to that I shall be removing myself from iProfile as it is now compromised and as far as I can see it is just a database where agents can search for keywords and not bother actually checking up on the skills of the candidate

- if I do reply and am interested in a position then it would be really nice if you kept me up to date with what is going on. If you don't then I shall ignore you in future

- don't ask for references because you'll never get them. I work for myself therefore the only person that can say if I have performed my role well is me. If I am going through an agency, which is pretty rare, then presumably I can give you my agents name as a reference?

- please learn something about the operating system/applications/skills/position/etc. that you have contacted me about. It gets frutrating talking to you when you have not got a clue and I then have to explain what you are talking about to you and then you realise that in fact I am not the person for the role. Time wasted on both sides. An agent who has at least a basic knowledge of the area they are selling in gets much more respect

- I could go on but its like trying to get my son to tidy his room

[squinn]

FFS
.. I have a f**king great big Mercedes..

Oh well, at least there's something you can always flog when the war-chest runs out.

[Zippy]

It sounds like a load of doctrinaire tosh.

Yes, automated regression testing has its limits; but when used with test-driven software development, smoke testing is a damned site better than nothing!

(If only as a sanity check that new fixes and enhancemens haven't broken anything)

Smoke testing is very useful (thou shalt not break the build) but I need convincing about TDD - particularly where the language doesn't directly support it.
I was talking about testing with someone this afternoon and he described a staggering level of ignorance on the part of devs and management (no idea how to test, what to test, when it will be completed, yadda, yadda). This is common, in my experience. He got about 30 mins free consultancy (ranting ) as a result.

The Badger is off btw - it's now Pickled Partridge.

[Mich the Tester]

It sounds like a load of doctrinaire tosh.

Yes, automated regression testing has its limits; but when used with test-driven software development, smoke testing is a damned site better than nothing!

(If only as a sanity check that new fixes and enhancemens haven't broken anything)

It can help a little bit, but nothing like as much as a good impact analysis and a short, intensive exploratory test. Trouble is, 99% of the time, automated testing is used as an overpriced means of trying to cover up holes in the dev process, created by bad planning, usually as a result of crap project management. All it does is keep a problem in place, instead of dealing with the real problem, that developers are not paid to think about what they´re doing before they do it. Deadlines are holy, quality doesn't matter. Result; huge costs, big delays, angry users.

[norrahe]

No, I don't take any tulipe like that.

I soon put agents right about being willing to work away from home for example.

OH

Mr Nor not OH

missed a good night on wednesday

[OwlHoot]

oh dear you sound like you're getting the same tulipe job wise my OH is atm.

No, I don't take any tulipe like that.

I soon put agents right about being willing to work away from home for example.

OH

[OwlHoot]

James Bach and Cem Kaner give a very good explanation as to why automated regression testing is useless. Buy 'lessons learned in software testing'; damn good stuff.

It sounds like a load of doctrinaire tosh.

Yes, automated regression testing has its limits; but when used with test-driven software development, smoke testing is a damned site better than nothing!

(If only as a sanity check that new fixes and enhancemens haven't broken anything)

[pzz76077]

Current clientco were expecting a PM from the other end of the country on a Monday at 9am. Phone call from agent at 9:30am, he missed his flight, getting the 10am

By 12, he wasn't coming at all.

If you are burned in that manner, you are probably most likely to assume it's because he got something more local, and I can see how that would sour people on a "travelling" contractor, especially when then there are 100 more guys lining up for the role.

This 'live too far away' thing always winds me up as well. Ive worked on all 5 and a half continents and had no problem getting in for 8:00 anywhere.
I suppose there are some poor dears that cant cope with being away from home etc. They are not really what I would call professional contractors though.

PZZ

[Mich the Tester]

Have now removed place of residence from CV. If clientco asks, it's just down the road. Shall not stand for this tulip any more.

Anyway, if clientco wants someone local, why advertise on the internet, which by its very definition is a 'a global system of interconnected computer networks' serving 'billions of users worldwide'? (according to wikipedia, and I have no evidence to the contrary)

If you must have someone local, stick an ad on the board in your local pub, you f**king morons, and stop wasting good porn bandwidth telling the whole f**king planet you want a professional tester when actually you want a local inbred village idiot with an affliction.

[jmo21]

The problem is I can partially understand ClientCo's position (and the agents are just reflecting that), because they've probably been burned before by people who have said exactly what you have said, only for the reality to be something different when they have started.

Talk is cheap, people (whether permie or contractor) are not. They'd rather not take the risk if there are closer candidates available.

Current clientco were expecting a PM from the other end of the country on a Monday at 9am. Phone call from agent at 9:30am, he missed his flight, getting the 10am

By 12, he wasn't coming at all.

If you are burned in that manner, you are probably most likely to assume it's because he got something more local, and I can see how that would sour people on a "travelling" contractor, especially when then there are 100 more guys lining up for the role.

[centurian]

I do not 'live too far away' for any contract.

That really winds me up as well.

The problem is I can partially understand ClientCo's position (and the agents are just reflecting that), because they've probably been burned before by people who have said exactly what you have said, only for the reality to be something different when they have started.

Talk is cheap, people (whether permie or contractor) are not. They'd rather not take the risk if there are closer candidates available.

[Zippy]

But if you ever need someone to do paper filling and testing, i could wear a wig ...

Filling? I don't think so. Tea, no sugar and just a dash of milk. Ta love.

[Jeebo72]

I have no hair ... and my man boobs aren't enormous ... yet ...

But if you ever need someone to do paper filling and testing, i could wear a wig ...