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Reply to: Best Man duties

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Previously on "Best Man duties"

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  • Tingles
    replied
    Mine went pretty well...

    I related the grooms life to a game of chess - he's a keen player.

    A few risque bits about his catholic school life - selling pron (pawn) mags etc and getting caught and being told off by the (bishop)

    Carp at DIY in their new home (castle)

    Passed his bike test (Knight)of the road - but now too scared to ride it!

    Every King has a Queen.. etc etc...

    I did nick a few things off a speech site - but 80% mine.

    Bridesmaids look lovely....

    10mins - job done....

    Thunderous applause...

    Drinks all round....



    T

    Leave a comment:


  • sweetandsour
    replied
    If the proceedings are following the "traditional" route the groom will do all the "thanks", finishing off with thanking the bridesmaids and saying something nice about them.

    The best man would then start their speech by saying thank you to the groom for this on behalf of the bridesmaids.

    At least that's what happened at the last wedding I went to. YMMV

    Leave a comment:


  • The Lone Gunman
    replied
    Wouldnt this be a good idea for the basis of your speach?

    "As I have no experience I decided to put this out on an internet forum for advice. However I had not taken into account that the forum in question is populated by rejects from the IT crowd <expand the description of internet nerds>.
    Here are some of the publishable replies."
    You can make it up as you go along from there. Be as rude and nasty as you like and blame it on us and then put in a whitty reason why you wont be doing as suggested.

    Leave a comment:


  • sasguru
    replied
    Chuck in some choice quotes from CUK. That should have them chortling mirthfully in the aisles.

    Leave a comment:


  • tino
    replied
    Good advice all, thanks

    keep it comin'

    Leave a comment:


  • tino
    replied
    Originally posted by PM-Junkie View Post
    You do know that you will be legally required to impregnate the chief bridesmaid?
    As the mother of my child will be in attendance as well as the chief bridesmaids husband............I'll say a big no to that one

    Leave a comment:


  • lukemg
    replied
    I cheated, scored loads of pictures of the couple back to babies and weaved a fictional, p*ss taking but believable web of untruths telling their story around the pictures.
    From the first picture I was astonished to find the whole room laughing their heads off, I absolutely loved it and the congratulations after.
    On the downside I had barely slept for weeks beforehand working on the script in my head and wondering if it would be met with silence, I have never been more terrified than in the hours leading up to it and I guess the relief added to the euphoria.
    Good news - They are a friendly crowd and will give you plenty of support if you can be even a bit funny.
    Bad news - You are the entertainment and it's a very mixed crowd, anyone can do a speech their mates will laugh at, but will the brides mum love it too ?

    Leave a comment:


  • Jet Setter
    replied
    Keep it brief. Nothing worse than a long boring speech.

    Keep it clean, cringeworthy stories about hookers and stds have no place.

    Thank all the birds.

    Take the piss out of a well known character trait of the bloke. Ie: to organised, too messy, tulip drunk - maybe chuck in a story about one of these things.

    Finish off with how much of a good bloke he is and how pleased you are for him and his missus. Can't go wrong.

    Leave a comment:


  • PM-Junkie
    replied
    You do know that you will be legally required to impregnate the chief bridesmaid?

    Leave a comment:


  • tino
    replied
    Originally posted by Drewster View Post
    I think you will find that "awful regurgitated jokes" are de rigeur - thats your Job Man!!!!
    Mine are better not really

    Leave a comment:


  • Drewster
    replied
    Originally posted by tino View Post
    I'm staying away from a full blown stand up routine, and also awful regurgitated jokes (hopefuly). I plan on serving up some wittertainment for the masses (all 17 of them)
    I think you will find that "awful regurgitated jokes" are de rigeur - thats your Job Man!!!!

    Leave a comment:


  • Nexxy
    replied
    Keep it clean, remember there are children present. Be witty and charming. Then get ratted and **** the bridesmaid(s).

    Job done

    Leave a comment:


  • tino
    replied
    Originally posted by Drewster View Post
    Etiquette is:
    Be Brief.
    Be Funny (but don't try too hard)
    Be Slighty Risque
    Thank Everyone
    Say everyone looks nice
    Be Brief

    Quite simple.......

    PS - If you actually ARE funny then you can go for broke but if you only THINK you are funny (like most of us) set up a couple of Obvious Punchlines and leave it at that
    I'm staying away from a full blown stand up routine, and also awful regurgitated jokes (hopefuly). I plan on serving up some wittertainment for the masses (all 17 of them)

    Leave a comment:


  • Drewster
    replied
    Originally posted by tino View Post
    I've been tasked with being Best Man to my best mate next week at his wedding in Cyprus.

    I've cobbled together a few bits and pieces with regards to the speech but I'm a little lost as to the etiquette of it all. Anyone here done the duty and could advise me a little?

    Who do I thank, Who do I say looks nice etc etc? I'm really loathed to use "speech sites" so personal experience would be great

    TIA
    Etiquette is:
    Be Brief.
    Be Funny (but don't try too hard)
    Be Slighty Risque
    Thank Everyone
    Say everyone looks nice
    Be Brief

    Quite simple.......

    PS - If you actually ARE funny then you can go for broke but if you only THINK you are funny (like most of us) set up a couple of Obvious Punchlines and leave it at that

    Leave a comment:


  • Menelaus
    replied
    Originally posted by tino View Post
    I've been tasked with being Best Man to my best mate next week at his wedding in Cyprus.

    I've cobbled together a few bits and pieces with regards to the speech but I'm a little lost as to the etiquette of it all. Anyone here done the duty and could advise me a little?

    Who do I thank, Who do I say looks nice etc etc? I'm really loathed to use "speech sites" so personal experience would be great

    TIA
    At my second (and last - **** that, not doing that again) wedding I stood up and:

    1. Thanked the caterers (we'd had an awful time getting the place sorted)
    2. Thanked my new wife (and explained to the assembleds that I had married way way waaaaaaaaaaaaaay above myself)
    3. Thanked the bridesmaids

    HTH

    Leave a comment:

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