Ten Commandments of Bailed-Out Banks

[Unwitting Catalyst]

Oh, the irony

This is either massively complacent or massively ironic - where's the tongue in cheek smiley? Banks are in deep tulip because of the decisions that their senior management made, not due to external event beyond their control. Yet there are still people sufficiently deluded enough to see themselves as "masters of the universe". How drole.

[Menelaus]

That is why they are desperate to pay the money back as soon as they can.
Cut costs (staff), increase revenue (up up rates and charges) so they can get the governments off their backs and get back to mischief.

lending to consumers

employing Menelaus so he can tell 'em how and

listening this time when Menelaus tells 'em there's a sh!t-storm coming

[HairyArsedBloke]

That is why they are desperate to pay the money back as soon as they can.
Cut costs (staff), increase revenue (up up rates and charges) so they can get the governments off their backs and get back to mischief.

[Menelaus]

1. You shall have no other stakeholders but the taxpayer

2. You shall not take the names of your lawmakers or government officials in vain

3. You will not increase base salaries or other perks

4. You will not pay out any cash bonuses

5. You will not spend money on corporate events, sponsorship or hospitality, even though to do so would help stimulate the economy

6. You will cease all incentive events for employees, even though a demotivated workforce adversely impacts performance

7. You will do away with your fleets of corporate jets, ensuring that your senior executives waste their time travelling to clients / engagements inefficiently, when they should be focused on strategy

8. You will not compete in the marketplace, you will hire and retain only second-rate staff

9. You will do nothing, spend nothing, produce nothing and earn nothing

10. You will remain in hock to the taxpayer for all time

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