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Previously on "whats the IQ of an average scott"

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  • AlfredJPruffock
    replied
    "Wha's Like Us?"


    The average Englishman in the home he call his castle slips into his national costume, a shabby raincoat, patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.

    En-route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.

    He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.

    At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.

    During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfriesshire, Scotland.

    He watches the news on television, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland, and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.

    Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.

    He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot, King James VI, who authorized its translation.

    He could take to drink but the Scots make the best in the world.

    He could take a rifle and end it all, but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.

    If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland, and given chloroform, an anesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.

    Out of the anesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.

    Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask:


    "Wha's Like Us?"

    Leave a comment:


  • expat
    replied
    Originally posted by Amiga500 View Post
    From the New York Times:

    From The Electrical Review. An Englishman discovered electricity; a Prussian, in the land of amber, invented the first electrical machine. Otto Guericke of Magdenburg, who also invented the air pump, formed the instrument by which electricity could be most readily produced. He placed a globe of sulphur on an axle, to be turned by the hand of the operator, while with the other he applied a cloth to the sulphur to produce the necessary friction.

    http://query.nytimes.com/gst/abstrac...6F9C94659ED7CF

    HTH
    Sorry, it entertains but does not help. That is a New York Times article from Sept 23, 1894.

    It does indeed say "An Englishman discovered electricity" but nowhere in the rest of the article does it hint at any more information on this claim, nor even name an Englishman supposed to have discovered electricity.

    Is that the only source you have? Can you not even say whom you have in mind? Or is a 115-year-old say-so of an American journalist supposed to be enough?

    Leave a comment:


  • Amiga500
    replied
    Originally posted by expat View Post
    Which Englishman discovered electricity, was it Thales of Miletus or Benjamin Franklin? Volta, Ampère and Ohm measured it (Watt was a Scot), and Edison made it work.
    From the New York Times:

    From The Electrical Review. An Englishman discovered electricity; a Prussian, in the land of amber, invented the first electrical machine. Otto Guericke of Magdenburg, who also invented the air pump, formed the instrument by which electricity could be most readily produced. He placed a globe of sulphur on an axle, to be turned by the hand of the operator, while with the other he applied a cloth to the sulphur to produce the necessary friction.

    http://query.nytimes.com/gst/abstrac...6F9C94659ED7CF

    HTH

    Leave a comment:


  • scooterscot
    replied
    Originally posted by Amiga500 View Post
    So you're berating the English using the English language, a computer, the World Wide Web and electricity (discovery of), all English inventions, oh the irony!
    From my working experiences South of the border half of them don't know how to use it!

    Leave a comment:


  • expat
    replied
    Originally posted by Amiga500 View Post
    So you're berating the English using the English language, a computer, the World Wide Web and electricity (discovery of), all English inventions, oh the irony!
    Which Englishman discovered electricity, was it Thales of Miletus or Benjamin Franklin? Volta, Ampère and Ohm measured it (Watt was a Scot), and Edison made it work.

    Leave a comment:


  • BlackenedBiker
    replied
    Give us back our goal posts

    Leave a comment:


  • Menelaus
    replied
    Originally posted by BlackenedBiker View Post
    And we never lose at football.

    England 6-0 Andorra

    That's got to bring a feel good factor to the country.

    (Italy makes good curly haired men call Fabio)
    England, Scotland, Wembley 1967, what was the score again?

    Leave a comment:


  • expat
    replied
    Originally posted by Amiga500 View Post
    I'm not Scottish, but looking at these inventions:

    Alexander Bain-[electric clock,fax machine]
    John Logie Baird-[television]
    Alexander Graham Bell-[telephone]
    Sir James Dewar-[dewar flask]
    James Goodfellow-[pin & atm technology]
    John Scott Haldane-[gas mask]
    John Macgregor-[sailing canoes]
    Charles Macintosh-[waterproof fabrics]
    Kilpatrick Macmilan-[bicycle]
    William Murdoch-[gas lighting]
    James young Simpson-[chloroform]
    William Symington-[steamboat]
    Robert William Thomson-[pneumatic tyre]
    Sir Robert Alexander Watson-watt[radar]

    I'd say there are certainly some intelligent Scots.

    HTH
    You forgot Alexander Fleming [penicillin].

    OTOH he was a medical researcher who found something that killed bacteria, and instead of realising the potential, he just cursed because it spoiled his experiment and threw it out, only coming back years later to develop antibiotics. So maybe he wasn't so smart.

    Leave a comment:


  • BlackenedBiker
    replied
    And we never lose at football.

    England 6-0 Andorra

    That's got to bring a feel good factor to the country.

    (Italy makes good curly haired men call Fabio)

    Leave a comment:


  • Menelaus
    replied
    Originally posted by Amiga500 View Post
    So you're berating the English using the English language, a computer, the World Wide Web and electricity (discovery of), all English inventions, oh the irony!
    I wouldn't dare berate the English, especially when:

    1. I know a good number of them as friends as well as colleagues
    2. They've got about ten times our population
    3. In many endeavours, the English do such a good job of berating themselves!

    Leave a comment:


  • Amiga500
    replied
    Originally posted by scooterscot View Post
    Well we least now know the IQ of the average sasanach
    So you're berating the English using the English language, a computer, the World Wide Web and electricity (discovery of), all English inventions, oh the irony!

    Leave a comment:


  • Menelaus
    replied
    Originally posted by BlackenedBiker View Post
    Was fraud being committed in relation to CC portfolios as far back as Ancient Greek civilisation? Maybe that was the real reason for going to war with Troy.
    Yes, those bloody W African Trojans!

    Leave a comment:


  • scooterscot
    replied
    Originally posted by sappatz View Post
    below zero ?
    Well we least now know the IQ of the average sasanach

    Leave a comment:


  • BlackenedBiker
    replied
    Originally posted by Menelaus View Post
    1. Bayesian models for detection of fraud in consumer credit portfolios using socio-economic data (Menelaus)

    Was fraud being committed in relation to CC portfolios as far back as Ancient Greek civilisation? Maybe that was the real reason for going to war with Troy.

    Leave a comment:


  • Menelaus
    replied
    Originally posted by sasguru View Post
    Passe. Been done before. 0/10.
    Yep. By me. January 2001.

    Of the top 20 banks and lenders in the UK, none of them had tried it before.

    Leave a comment:

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