Bird poo isn't lucky

[EternalOptimist]

Two punks are coming out of the hairdressers, one has an expensive bright red mohican, One has flourescent green spikes.

Punk 1 looks up - 'hey man. what would you do if a bird pooed on your head?'
Punk 2 - 'Hey, I wouldnt go out with her any more man'

[Mich the Tester]

I think you have it slightly the wrong way around. On Saturday I got the bird that had been pooing on my car and I had a poo on her. That night I won the jackpot.

You like scat do you?

[BoredBloke]

I think you have it slightly the wrong way around. On Saturday I got the bird that had been pooing on my car and I had a poo on it. That night I won the jackpot.

[thunderlizard]

Anybody familiar with Tobit chapter 2 verse 10 could have told you that.

[gingerjedi]

Looking around the client site (lots of ponds and wildlife) I can only say I'm glad it wasn't a goose, I thought it was dog doo doo until I caught one in the act.

Something that big could kill a man if dropped from a great height.

[EternalOptimist]

They seem to have a preference for black cars, especially those which have just been washed.

There was a falconer who used his hawks to clear birds from a small airfield oop norf somewhere.

The b@stards recognised him and had him covered in guano before he could get from the door to the boot. They ignored everyone else

[Mich the Tester]

Whilst watching my favourite animal-based home video show 'Animals do the Funniest Things' there was a piece on a bloke who had saved a seagull with a broken leg which went on to follow him, and attack him, whenever he was in the town centre. It showed the bloke running away and being repeatedly dive-bombed by it. There's gratitude for you.

Perhaps the seagull thought 'that's the b@st@rd who broke my leg'. Perhaps he was the b@st@rd who accidentally broke the seagull's leg; that's why he 'saved' him.

[Mich the Tester]

There is very strong evidence that birds can recognise humans, even their cars.

They seem to have a preference for black cars, especially those which have just been washed.

[basshead]

There is very strong evidence that birds can recognise humans, even their cars.

Whilst watching my favourite animal-based home video show 'Animals do the Funniest Things' there was a piece on a bloke who had saved a seagull with a broken leg which went on to follow him, and attack him, whenever he was in the town centre. It showed the bloke running away and being repeatedly dive-bombed by it. There's gratitude for you.

[BrilloPad]

Mrs BP got hit at Longleat a few weeks ago.

She won zilch on the lottery either.........

[EternalOptimist]

I was walking along the seafront with my wife and daughter on saturday when I heard a ‘slap’, it took a couple of seconds before I realised a seagull had got a bullseye on my barren patch.

Ever optimistic I bought a lotto ticket… I didn’t win anything.

There is very strong evidence that birds can recognise humans, even their cars.

You might want to consider changing your appearance, like wearing a wig and a mask, or something, just in case you have offended the seagulls in some way and they are out to get you

[gingerjedi]

I was walking along the seafront with my wife and daughter on saturday when I heard a ‘slap’, it took a couple of seconds before I realised a seagull had got a bullseye on my barren patch.

Ever optimistic I bought a lotto ticket… I didn’t win anything.