Q: What wood doesn't float?
A: Natalie Wood
Could have been early 80's though.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Reply to: 1970s jokes resurrected.
Collapse
You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:
- You are not logged in. If you are already registered, fill in the form below to log in, or follow the "Sign Up" link to register a new account.
- You may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
- If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.
Logging in...
Previously on "1970s jokes resurrected."
Collapse
-
I wish he was still married to the replacement, "what's got 3 legs and lives on a farm" "The McCartneys" was a classic.Originally posted by Ruprect View PostWhat do you call an old dog with wings?
Linda.
Leave a comment:
-
http://www.funny.co.uk/keywords/jim-...70s-jokes.html
Now that is funny...No such file or directory in /home/funnyweb/public_html/keywords on line 187
Leave a comment:
-
Q: What do Princess Grace of Monaco and Sue Barker have in common?
A: They've both been f****d by cliffs
Leave a comment:
-
John Lennon was a singerOriginally posted by Svalbaard View PostYes it is thanks. Just can't see where the joke is.
If it's too hard, or too much effort for you to explain in a civil manner then I understand.
Yoko Ono is of an Oriental persuasion
She was not popular at the time
they had intimate relations
see- it's not funny now
Leave a comment:
-
We'll help you through it Svalbaard...Originally posted by Svalbaard View PostIf it's too hard, or too much effort for you to explain in a civil manner then I understand.
Who was John Lennon married to?
It's not quite so funny when you have to explain it though...
Leave a comment:
-
Blonde, huh?Originally posted by Svalbaard View PostYes it is thanks. Just can't see where the joke is.
If it's too hard, or too much effort for you to explain in a civil manner then I understand.
Clue: the yellow bag wasn't.
Leave a comment:
-
English is not your first language is it ?Originally posted by Svalbaard View PostDon't get it.
Leave a comment:
-
And that was from their science correspondent? Where do they find these ignoramusses to work in the media?Originally posted by Sysman View Post
"British scientists to create 'synthetic' blood"
No, it is not synthetic if it comes from stem cells from embryos. Science fiction has far better terms for cells bred in vats but synthetic is not one of them. These are not artificial, they are real human blood cells.
It is not 'blood' they are making, it is red blood cells.
"Scientists in Britain plan to become the first in the world to produce unlimited amounts of synthetic human blood"
Much as I hate to admit it, the Septics were doing this during the Vietnam War.
"It could help to save the lives of ... soldiers on a battlefield"
Major trauma from blood loss does not require replacement red blood cells. It requires replacement plasma to make up the fluid content. You can continue to live with enormous red blood cell loss, but not the fluid loss. The Septics use a synthetic plasma (yes, really synthetic) to replace blood and it works more effectively than our method of blood transfusion. An annoying fact, but a fact.
This is a politically controversial solution to a funding problem looking for a medical problem to hide behind. Anybody else see a roadmap to Jefferson 37 here?
Leave a comment:
-
Why is Bill Wyman like a tortoise ?
because he gets there before the hair
Leave a comment:
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- VAT compliance checks are changing — here’s what contractors need to know Today 07:30
- As HMRC steps up VAT compliance activity, how should company directors prepare? Yesterday 06:52
- Hiring of IT contractors returned to growth in May 2026, following 33 months ‘in the red’ Jun 15 06:02
- Zero Hours Contract Reform: A key consultation for recruiters, employers and contractors is finally here Jun 12 04:43
- Bills of Exchange: Here’s what caught my attention as an umbrella compliance expert Jun 11 03:46
- Loan charge recall issue returns, with new demands making UK contractors ‘half-suicidal’ Jun 10 03:58
- AI interviews are here. Here's how IT contractors can ace them Jun 9 06:53
- Closing your limited company isn't failure. It's just the end of a chapter. Jun 8 05:00
- Young people not in education, employment or training isn’t a contractor’s problem. It’s a problem for us all Jun 5 05:26
- How does HMRC’s forward interest change benefit contractors? Jun 4 04:22

Leave a comment: